


Between the lines

by Meggs13



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Author alternative universe, Best friends: Jongin and Kyungsoo, Bottom Byun Baekhyun, Byun Baekhyun and Do Kyungsoo, Byun Baekhyun is a Little Shit, Depression, Doctor Jongin, Editor Soo, Expectations vs Reality, Hurt/Comfort, Kyungsoo should never leave his phone unattended, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Romantic Angst, Self Confidence Issues, Unhealthy Sleeping Habits, Writer Byun Baekhyun, delusional idealism, educational porn watching, innapropriate Baekhyun, innapropriate comments, innapropriate jokes, innapropriate work relationship, romance novelist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 16:21:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 24,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13391622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meggs13/pseuds/Meggs13
Summary: Kyungsoo's never met the man, though he supposes he's the closest person to the famous author. Kyungsoo's never seen his face, heard his voice, nor does he know even his real name. Kyungsoo is sure of one thing about him though... he's the most beautiful man in the universe, and Kyungsoo is completely, undeniably in love with him. Kyungsoo's fallen for him between the lines of every sentence he writes, every text and email accented with perfect grammar and punctuation, and even every hand written note he receives after every chapter Kyungsoo finishes editing. Kyungsoo's never met him, but he doesn't have to, to know he's the man he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Even if it's a relationship based solely on words and absent encounters, Kyungsoo wants to forever be by his side.





	1. When lines blur

Kyungsoo's never met the man, though he supposes he's the closest person to the famous author. Kyungsoo's never seen his face, heard his voice, nor does Soo know even his real name. Kyungsoo is sure of one thing, though, he's completely in love with the man. Kyungsoo's fallen for him between the lines of every sentence he writes, every text and email accented with perfect grammar and punctuation, and even every hand written note Kyungsoo receives after every chapter he finishes editing. Soo's never met him, but he doesn't have to, to know he's the man he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Even if it's a relationship based solely on words and absent encounters, Kyungsoo wants to be by his side forever.

I expect you'll do this chapter justice, my dear Kyungsoo. You always do. I await your next email.

-B

Kyungsoo stares at the email he'd just received, attached with Byun B.H's latest chapter for his upcoming novel. 

B.H. has insisted on sending each chapter in one by one for this book, because he said "your notes help me move forward in my stories" ... or at least he had texted this.

Kyungsoo smiles. The fact that B.H. trusts him enough to take his ideas and opinions over his writing is huge for the small, quiet man. Kyungsoo is one of the few people who actually has open communication with the author and as far as he know's he's the closest person to the best seller. 

Kyungsoo is a head editor at Wolf Publishings, a publishing house that has produced many of brilliant and award winning books since it's creation many years ago. B.H. Is one of their many award winning authors, but he's also the most popular.

Theres a magnificent flow to B.H.'s writing, it transports you, makes you feel things you thought forgotten, but that's not the only reason people love his novels. There's a sort of mysterious quality around B.H.'s existence. No one has ever met him, even his most trusted advisor, Do Kyungsoo, who has been entrusted to handle every bit of B.H.'s affairs. In fact Kyungsoo hasn't worked on anything but B.H.'s work for the past five years. B.H. Insists that Kyungsoo deal exclusively with his works and his works alone.

B.H. Doesn't like to have direct contact with people either and hasn't nor will he reveal his true identity. The only one he's willing to talk to, is Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo remembers fondly, the one time his boss Junmyeon had sent B an email about a book cover selection and B had sent a reply back to Kyungsoo answering Junmyeon's email. That was the last time anyone attempted contact towards B outside of his fandom of course.

B has quiet the following and Kyungsoo sometimes gets flustered at fan mail he gets sent in the writers favor. He forwards it all to B of course, but takes the liberty to read an occasional one.

B was amused when Kyungsoo confessed such, stating "don't be bothered with dirty fantasies of horny little house wives. I pay them no mind, my darling Kyungsoo"

The other editors who had once dealt with B before he demanded to exclusively be handled by Kyungsoo always seem in awe when he forwards them B's emails with instructions or suggestions in them. They always comment on how casual and personal they sound, but Kyungsoo just insists it's because their relationship has developed over the years. They've been together too long to be formal to one another.

He still fondly reminisces the night he stayed up till 2 am talking to the writer who had writers block and needed a distraction. They had talked about everything and anything that night and he felt like he shared a bit of his soul with B that night.

"This was inspired by you, my beautiful Kyungsoo. I hope you can see yourself the way I see you with this latest story" B had told him a week later when he presented Kyungsoo with his first chapter to his latest book. 

It has done well, people have raved about how beautiful and sensual the characters are. Kyungsoo doesn't see how he can be in such a romantic and steamy book, but he guesses B can make anyone sound interesting with that mind of his.

B writes romance and erotica, a genre not easily popularized, but the writer does it. Woman and even a great deal of men flock to his his books, clearing out a shipment the second it hits shelves. B has made Kyungsoo a great deal of money from his books since Kyungsoo is the only one who deals directly with the man and oversees ever detail for his books even to final print.

It's not about the money though, it's not about the perks of being Byun B.H.'s right hand man... it's about B's words and what he does with them. Kyungsoo often finds himself batted for every word, constantly obsessing over each text and email he receives.

Kyungsoo even admits to jacking off in his office one night to a long, detailed email about the character development for one of his leading men when he asked how things were progressing. There's just something about B's words that make Kyungsoo's body hum and his soul burn.

He's in love with a man he's never even met or seen for that matter, and Kyungsoo is content to live like this. He wishes to remain by Byun B.H.'s side forever.

... if only he'd known.

>>>>

"You know he could be like some overweight, balding, pervert who writes out of his mothers basement, right?" Jongin asks around an unattractive bite of sandwich.

Kyungsoo curls his lip and shakes his head "take human bites, Jongin-ah. And he's not, he lives in Gangnam in a very nice apartment"

Jongin pauses and Kyungsoo's eyes widen, realizing what he just did "you know here Byun B.H. Lives?"

Kyungsoo shakes his head furiously and looks around at the slight gain of attention "shh, keep your voice down! And n-no, I don't... that was just an assumption"

Jongin narrows his eyes, the right one twitching slightly "Do Kyungsoo, you have my favorite authors address and possible identify in the palm of your hand and you didn't even tell me?"

Kyungsoo squeaks and burries his face in his palms. He had met Jongin a few years back, (his best friend now) after they had communicated through a fan cafe for B. They hit it off and became fast friends, then when they realized they lived in the same city, they met up. Jongin had dropped to his knees and started crying once he realized who Kyungsoo was and learned how close he was to the writer.

Kyungsoo thinks Jongin only keeps him around just to get close to the infamous B.H., but Kyungsoo doesn't mind, nor does he blame him... he'd do the same if he had to.

"I-it's only for emergencies and for when I send things to him. He's very private and I won't infringe on that" Kyungsoo states, pulling out his confidence and professionalism at the last minute.

Jongin sets his jaw and launches for Kyungsoo's phone "I will find it"

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes "go ahead, it's not written down anywhere. I have it right here and only here" he says tapping his head.

Jongin growls "you know I am a surgeon, right? I can cut into your head no problem"

Kyungsoo tilts his head and sighs "you're not getting his address, Jongin. Besides, no one is going to meet him before I do"

Jongin's face instantly sags in defeat and he pushes back his chair dramatically, and cross his arms in a pout "Soo" the young doctor whines.

Kyungsoo just shakes his head and stands, leaving a note on the table for lunch "don't you have lives to save?"

Jongin lets out a frustrated whine "who's going to save mine? I'll die if I never meet him, Soo"

Kyungsoo shrugs and pats the younger's head briefly "make sure you leave your Mercedes to me in your will" then he leaves the pouting man in the cafe to sulk alone, as usual.

>>>>

"These are the approved book covers Mr. Do had passed on to Mr. Byun" Kris, the head of the design and advertisement department says casually. 

Kris usually lets his minions oversee something as minor as book covers, but B has become such an important name in their company. Every little detail for B's books are held to the highest of priorities. Kyungsoo is always surprised, but pleased to see Kris taking B's work so seriously.

"Kyungsoo, has Byun made a decision?" Kris asks, directing his attention on the small editor.

Kyungsoo nods and glances at the email B had sent him with his choices. As usual his author had taken the whole night to process an make an educated decision. This is one of the things that Kyungsoo loves so much about B. He's calculated, he's thorough. B takes his time and isn't impulsive. Kyungsoo feels they are the same in this area.

"B likes number 2 and number 6. He said they present the story well, but doesn't distract or misdirect the reader" Kyungsoo explains.

Kris taps his chin and nods, " we could us number 2 for the circulations here, then use 6 for the translation in China"

Kyungsoo nods and types this out, sending it to B. It takes only a second before he revives an answer, and Kyungsoo nods. B always makes sure to be present and attentive during these meetings, adding input when needed. Another quality Kyungsoo is fond of.

"B says he's good with that. He also says he'd like to start getting everything rolling with the Japanese division, and trying to go ahead with that translation as well" Kyungsoo says, relaying B's message.

Kris nods "we've been looking at prospects who can handle that. A few applicants we've chosen, are fluent in both Korean and Japanese, so we will pick some to handle the details for that soon and get back to you"

Kyungsoo hums and gives this news back to B, who sends an enthusiastic response. This is one of the things B had been clear on, when he first started working with Wolf publishings. B wanted to bridge out to foreign audiences, he wanted to reach different cultures and countries. Kris's department handles most of the press and audience in China, but B now wants to bridge out to Japan, which means a whole new team to handle it.

Kyungsoo isn't worried though, it's a lot, but he knows that B is more than capable. B will go far in this world, and Kyungsoo is perfectly content to be by his authors side through it all.

The meeting calls to a close and Kyungsoo gets a notification on his phone that a message is waiting for him from B, just as he's leaving the conference room. Kyungsoo grins at his phone and makes a B-line for his office, but unfortunately this isn't one of B's novels. This is not a perfect world.

"Soo, I need to talk to you" Junmyeon calls stopping Kyungsoo in his tracks.

Kyungsoo wanted to read B's email in the privacy of his own office, and maybe have a little bit of private time with the author, but clearly it'll need to wait.

Kyungsoo sighs and shuffles begrudgingly into Jun's office, shutting the door and plopping down into the seat.

"What's up, Junnie?" Kyungsoo asks, crossing one leg over the other.

Junmyeon pinches the bridge of his nose and gives Kyungsoo a hard stare "Soo, listen... Byun's book is taking off better than we anticipated, it's getting press attention"

Kyungsoo smiles proudly about this, wanting to immediately tell B about this, but then gets an overwhelming bad feeling in his gut "and this isn't good?"

Junmyeon sighs "they want to have an interview on a pretty popular talk show tonight"

Kyungsoo chuckles, amused "you know B.H. doesn't do press... the man won't even release his real name"

Junmyeon closes his eyes and nods "I know, I know... that's why we want you to go"

Kyungsoo's heart stops and he blinks at his boss bewildered "um... what was that?"

Junmyeon groans and places his head against the table "I told them that B.H. refuses to make public appearances, so they asked for the person who's closest to him and your name instantly fell from my mouth... I'm sorry, Soo. I wasn't thinking, I could have sent one of the interns with practiced things to say, but it was an accident... they're expecting you now"

Kyungsoo looks away from Junmyeon and whines "I-i don't like talking in meetings because it brings too much attention to myself, why in the hell would I be ok speaking on public television?"

Junmyeon sits up and holds out his hands "I'm so sorry, Soo. Please do this for me. The press we will get for this will be huge. Think about the sales, the books... think about Byun... what this will do for his career"

Kyungsoo mentally curses that man for knowing exactly what will get him to do what he wants, but he also knows that the man is right. The press B will get for this will do amazing things for his fan base and career. Kyungsoo can't not do this now.

"Fuck you, Kim Junmyeon" Kyungsoo stands up and flings open the office door.

"Are you doing it?" Junmyeon asks, an annoying excitement hanging in his voice.

Kyungsoo shoots him a death glare and Junmyeon ducks his head, making a pathetic distressed noise "of course I am, you stupid twat"

Kyungsoo stomps back to his office and slams the door, wanting to be alone and knowing he won't be bothered for the rest of the day by anyone.

>>>>

Kyungsoo balls his hands up repeatedly in the front of his sweater, he can feel his knees shaking, threatening to give out at any moment. He listens for his queue and mentally rereads the message B had sent him when he expressed his distress over tonight's interview.

I'm terribly sorry you have to go through this for me, Kyungsoo. I'm immensely regretful and thankful towards you at the same time. I know you'll be exceptional tonight. I'll be watching.

~B

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath and wonders if it helps to know that B is watching or not. He wants to make him proud, but he knows just how awkward and boring he can be.

"-His right hand man, Do Kyungsoo" he hears the host announce, and Kyungsoo swallows knowing it's his lead in.

Kyungsoo moves on autopilot, trying not to move so robotically, and shakes the hosts hand, then sits when prompted.

"So, Kyungsoo. You're the right hand of the legendary Byun B.H.?" The host asks, immediately jumping in to the questions.

Kyungsoo nods and swallows "that's what everyone tells me"

A few chuckles leave the crowed, and Kyungsoo relaxes a little "you mean you don't see yourself that way?"

"Not exactly. I'd just consider myself his friend. We communicate mainly through text or email, so I really just handle his books and talk him out of deleting entire chapters when he gets frustrated" more laughter and Kyungsoo finds an easy smile pulling at his lips.

"So wait, you've never communicated with the writer in person?" The host asks, shocked.

Kyungsoo shakes his head "I've never met him face to face, or even heard his voice for that matter... B is just as much a mystery to me as he is to everyone else" 

Gasps and wows fill the crowed, and Kyungsoo for once shares their disbelief. He looks down and takes a second to think. He's suppose to be B's right hand, suppose to know him better than anyone, so of course it's weird that Kyungsoo has never met or even heard what his voice sounds like. Kyungsoo has always been so content to just be by B's side and be a part of his amazing stories that he never even questioned how important he is to Byun B.H.

"You call him B?" The host asks, bringing Kyungsoo out of his internal struggle. 

Kyungsoo clears his throat and sits up straight "yes, that's actually how he signs off his emails"

"Ah, may we see one of these emails? We'd like to see the way Byun B.H. Speaks outside of his novels. Is he casual? Is he reserved? Does he have a good sense of humor?.. these are questions the world are interested in" the hosts asks.

Kyungsoo blinks and subconsciously pulls his phone out of his pocket "um, sure. I'll have to pull up one that doesn't give anything away to his new novels"

A few awed and disappointed noises come from the crowed and smiles to himself, glad that there's a least a small piece of B's world he's exclusive to.

"Ah, here's an older one" he hands his phone over to the host, who take it and reads it over.

"It says 'the main character and I had a fight late last night, and we are not currently on speaking terms. I hope you understand why my latest chapter will be a little late and trust that everyone involved will be informed." Laugher follows and Kyungsoo is glad that people find B's sense of humor as amusing as he does "You always know what to do, my darling Kyungsoo. B'" the host finishes, glancing over at Kyungsoo who just nods, used to those types of emails. 

B always has disagreements and qualms with his characters, which Kyungsoo has had to mediate many times. This isn't anything new to him, nor is it revealing anything important to his stories.

"He calls you darling?" The host asks, his interest peeked, cat eyes zeroing in on Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo's eyes widen and he takes the phone back when offered, realizing that such a thing isn't exactly normal. He had remembered the first time B had included an endearment like that into his email, he had blushed and stumbled around all day like the awkward twat he is. It became a regular thing after that and he grew desensitized to the names, forgetting that it isn't a proper way to talk to your editor.

"Y-yeah. He does that" Kyungsoo stammers, feeling his cheeks grow hot.

"Does he talk to anyone else in this way?" The host inquiries, a slight smirk gracing his lips.

Kyungsoo folds into himself, attempting to make himself a bit smaller. This interview was supposed to be about B's latest book and B himself, not about their relationship.

"N-no... he doesn't communicate with anyone else" Kyungsoo mentions lowly.

The host cocks his head, laughing in surprise "like at all?"

Kyungsoo shakes his head "if anyone else sends him a text or email, he'll reply to me with the answer and have me relay it to them... he refuses to communicate with anyone else"

Awe of disbelief and slight whispering fills the crowed and Kyungsoo folds into himself further.

Suddenly his phone lights up and he glances down briefly...

You're the only one who uses correct punctuation and grammar.  
From: B.B.H

Kyungsoo feels all panic drain from his system and chuckles, lifting his head and reading the message to the room, who laughs and seems to take some of the tension out of the talk.

Plus, you're my favorite. Please don't read this out loud. We can't have you giving away all of my secrets, my lovey, Soo. You're doing great. Try to smile a bit more, though.  
From: B.B.H

He reads the second message and smiles, knowing that B just saved his ass in a major way. The last thing they need is a scandal breaking out about Byun B.H. and his editor being lovers... though Kyungsoo would love nothing more, it still wouldn't be good for B's career.

The rest of the interview goes perfectly and Kyungsoo answers every question with ease, dodging the questions about their personal relationship now that he has confidence and certainty backing him up.

When Kyungsoo gets home that night and crashes into bed, exhausted from the days events, he receives one final message.

I knew you were always the right choice. I couldn't and wouldn't do anything without you, my lovely Soo. Sleep well, you were fantastic tonight.  
From: B.B.H

Kyungsoo's heart swells and he hugs his pillow tight. B never fails to remind Kyungsoo of a side of himself that only he knows, that only he has been allowed to see. To Kyungsoo, this is everything.

Kyungsoo falls asleep that night, dreaming of a face he's never seen, and a voice he's never heard, but a man he loves with every inch of his soul.

>>>>

Jongin stares at Kyungsoo across the table. He knows something is off with the man, but can't seem to pry it out. Kyungsoo is normally very open and obvious about his feelis, but tonight he's reserved and quiet. Jongin doesn't like it.

"What's with you?" Jongin asks, narrowing his eyes and sizing the editor up.

Kyungsoo lifts an eyebrow and cocks his head "what do you mean?"

"You're acting weird" Jongin says, resting his fork on the table and sitting back in his chair.

"I'm fine" Kyungsoo shrugs.

Jongin sighs and realizes that desperate times call for desperate measures. He orders two bottles of Suju.

A bottle and a half later, Kyungsoo whines and grips the last half bottle in his hands. "Where do I stand with him? He communicates only with me. He calls me stupid little pet names. He trusts me with the deepest details of his novels, and yet... I'm just his editor? I have to be more than that to him, right?"

"Deepest details? What kind of details? What exactly does he tell you about his stories, Soo?" Jongin asks, suddenly intensely interested in Kyungsoo's ramblings.

Kyungsoo waves him off "you won't get secrets out of me, even when drunk, Jongin"

Jongin rolls his eyes and takes the rest of the bottle from the smaller "have you tried telling him how you feel?"

Kyungsoo dramatically places a hand over his mouth "I could never. B would hate me, then who would handle his books? Imagine how uncomfortable it would be for him to find out his editor is in love with him. Imagine if he's not even into guys and is absolutely disgusted by me"

A hand held up by the doctor, stops the concerned ramblings of the smaller man "Ok, one: no one writes romance like that unless they have a vagina or regularly takes it up the ass. Two: I've seen many emails and massages between you two, that man adores you and could never hate you. And three: maybe he feels the same, Soo. Maybe he's just been waiting for you to say something because he doesn't know how to bridge from your professional relationship" Jongin says, pouring a shot of the potent liquor and passing it to Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo tosses it back without hesitation, before tightening his jaw in thought, then fishes out his phone from his pocket.

"Fine, maybe it's time to do something bold" Kyungsoo says, as Jongin watches him with wide eyes.

Kyungsoo pulls up his email and starts writing.

To my dearest B

I'm writing you this to inform you that there's is something I need to get off of my chest. These past years with you have been amazing and I have been every bit of content to be by your side through it all. I consider myself fortunate to be your editor, but even more so to be your friend. It's not enough anymore, though. I have fallen for you B, I have fallen in love with you so entirely that I can't even imagine a life without you. I want to be by your side in all ways, B, and I hope you want that too.

Yours forever, Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo stares at the email before reading it aloud to Jongin, who winces at the slight slur in his friends voice, but listens patiently. Jongin thinks it is good and waits for the small guy to send it, but much to his disappointment, and expectations Kyungsoo shakes his head and deletes it.

"You should have sent it. He could just be waiting for that very email, Soo" Jongin says quietly.

Kyungsoo gets up, swaying a bit, but stabilizing himself on the table. "I'm happy with this life, Jongin. In a perfect world maybe something like that would happen, but in this one, I'm content being the infamous B.B.H's editor"

Jongin sighs and nods, "I just don't want you to live a life attached to an illusion you made up in your head. I don't want you to settle for the least when you deserve the most"

Kyungsoo shrugs and wipes his hands on his pants "he's not an illusion, Jongin. B is real, and I love him enough to be satisfied with the life I have. Now excuse me, I have to use the restroom"

Kyungsoo makes his way to the back of the restaurant, wobbling and mumbling to himself as he goes. Jongin shakes his head at the drunk bean, and pity's the guy for his blindness. Kyungsoo has made a lot of wrong turns and bad decisions in his life when it comes to love. But his worst mistake by far, was leaving his phone at the table.

>>>>

Kyungsoo wakes up with a pounding headache and a sense of regret heavy in the back of his throat. It takes him a few minutes to right himself and orient his mental state. Kyungsoo is clearly in his own bed, in his own apartment, so it's not as horrible as past times Jongin has decided to be the bad influence.

Kyungsoo glances over to the other side of the bed and sighs, watching a fast asleep Jongin breath peacefully. Kyungsoo feels a lot of affection for the young doctor, but in the same breath, he hates the man. Kyungsoo hates how smug he is, how impressionable he is, but most importantly, Kyungsoo hates how fucking right Jongin always tends to be.

Kyungsoo would never admit it to his face, but more often than not, Jongin hits the fucking nail on the head. Jongin just has a way of knowing things, Kyungsoo wish he didn't.

Kyungsoo reaches over and cards his fingers through the younger's soft hair, gently petting his head down to his cheek. He smiles gently at the man, before lifting his hand then bringing it right back down in a hard smack, that echoes the room.

Jongin groans and instantly scrunches up his face, while stirring from his sleep "wake up, you twat" Kyungsoo growls.

Jongin groans again and mumbles something about Kyungsoo being the devil. Kyungsoo shakes his head and gets up, heading for the shower. He may let Jongin be a bad influence sometimes, but he'll be damned if he lets the brat make him late for work.... again.

.....

Kyungsoo sits down at his computer, waiting for it to boot up, while he also waits for his coffee to do the same to his brain. He curses Jongin for the millionth time and vows to never go drinking with that demon again... at least not on a weekday.

The first thing he pulls up is his emails and isn't surprised to find it packed full. It's normal for Kyungsoo to receive hundreds of emails a day. B is an important author, and a lot of people deal directly with his books, but B only deals directly with Kyungsoo. It's exhausting, but thrilling at the same time to be so many different things for one author.

Kyungsoo shuffles through all of his messages, sorting and answering as needed, but frowning when he doesn't find one from the one person he actually wants to talk to. Kyungsoo isn't surprised however, sometimes B gets involved into his writing and disappears for a couple hours. Kyungsoo isn't worried about it, B will communicate when he's ready. Kyungsoo doesn't panic and goes about his day, subconsciously glancing at his screen every five seconds. This might be a longer day that Kyungsoo had anticipated.

>>>>

Kyungsoo can't breath, he can't think straight, he's a mess. B hasn't contacted him in four days, and for a man who's never gone a single day without an update on his status (without being notified before hand, of course) in the last five years, something isn't right.

Kyungsoo is worried sick, he hasn't eaten in days and he isn't sleeping. He notified the head office of B's disappearance, but no one seems to share his distress.

Kyungsoo is at his wits end and he feels an oncoming ulcer from his worries eating him alive. Kyungsoo pops an antacid into his mouth and once again refreshes his email.

Kyungsoo curses and worries about everything that could possibly happen to the writer. The final imagine ends with B laying on his living room floor, post mortem and being eaten by his cat that Kyungsoo assumes he has.

That image alone has Kyungsoo standing, grabbing his bag and rushing out of his office at top speed. What seems like years later, he stands in front of a foreign door, in a beautiful building, in Gangnam. Kyungsoo swallows the lump down in his throat and regrets ever even thinking of coming here. 

He takes a step back and is about to haul ass for the exit, but then the thought of a dead B makes his chest squeeze painfully and he rights himself, forcing his hand out to pound against the door.

He waits, his heart pounding and his breath coming out fast. No answer follows for moments and he panics further. He reaches for the key pad and thinks about what B's pass code could possibly be. He punches in a few dates and comes up empty, then thinks again and punches in numbers he's sure couldn't possibly be it. Kyungsoo blinks at the door when he is granted entry and nearly feels like crying before he remembers the subject at hand. 

Kyungsoo rushes into the apartment and looks around wildly for any sign of life, or gods help him, lack there of. 

Kyungsoo stops short by what he finds. The walls are covered in posters, but not any posters, anime posters... so many anime posters. Figurines and merchandise cover ever surface of the apartment. Dolls, pillows, and blankets with anime characters lay across the couch, and he swears to the gods he's never seen so much pink and glitter in his life. This place is an otaku heaven and Kyungsoo doesn't even know how to function with this image.

Kyungsoo is about to back out of the apartment, because clearly he has the wrong one, but freezes, his blood running cold, as a voice pierces the room, and his heart at the same time.

"Kyungsoo?"


	2. Byun B.H.

"Kyungsoo?"

Kyungsoo's heart pounds against his rib cage, and his breath stutters past his lips. Kyungsoo's not prepared for this, he's not ready to meet B, especially when his voice is so smooth, Kyungsoo can feel goosebumps rise on his arms.

Kyungsoo turns his head slowly, meeting eyes with a pink haired, wide eyed, and stunningly beautiful man. His eyes are like honey and his lips are like plump little cherries. The man's features are soft, but also defined and his skin is light and smooth. Whatever fantasy Kyungsoo had worked up in his head, this is so much much more.

"B?" Kyungsoo rasps, not able to take his eyes off the man, who he just realized is wrapped in a baby pink towel and basically standing naked in front of him. 

B smiles, almost as if relieved and Kyungsoo's heart skips a beat at how beautiful his smile is "ah, that deep voice is even hotter in person" he says in a high pitched voice and winks at Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo's eyes bug and he feels taken aback at B's boldness "w-what?"

B blinks at Kyungsoo for a second as if taking in every inch of the man in front of him, almost like he is checking him out, but Kyungsoo immediately dismisses that illusion. B shakes his head and rights himself, "never mind, why are you here, Soo? Is something wrong?"

Kyungsoo clears his throat and absentmindedly fixes his clothing. B just called him Soo... in person. His internal fangirl can only take so much. "I...I was worried. You haven't made contact in four days... I-i assumed the worst"

"What?" B squeaks in a bit too overplayed shock "I sent you a message that I was going off the grid for a few days" B says, rushing across the room to a computer so beautiful Kyungsoo feels a kick of jealously.

Kyungsoo shakes his head, still feeling shell shocked "I haven't gotten a message or anything in days"

"Oh no" B exclaims, a little more dramatic than necessary "I forgot to send it, it's still in my drafts. I'm sorry, Kyungsoo"

Kyungsoo shakes his head and steps forward "oh, no... it's ok. I-I shouldn't have freaked out so much... you know my tendency to worry"

B smiles an almost knowing smile and looks Kyungsoo in the eyes, setting the editor aflame with his gaze "I do... remember the time you checked in on me every hour back when I told you I caught a cold?... it made me feel better knowing someone cared"

Kyungsoo looks down at his shoes shyly "I just wanted to know you were ok"

B hums in response before a loaded silence falls over them and Kyungsoo chews at his lip uncertainly while staring at his shoes.

"So, I guess the mystery is gone now" B says, breaking the uncomfortable atmosphere, with an awkward kind of laugh Kyungsoo wants to cringe at.

"I-if you want me to leave and act like nothing happened...I-I will. No one will ever know" Kyungsoo say, his voice betraying his mental freak out. 

Kyungsoo still can't believe he is standing here talking to B. His brain just can't fully comprehend the weight of this situation. For years B has been an absent presence, someone he's had deep, in depth conversation with, someone he's barred his soul to, but never having to actually face in person. Kyungsoo admits that maybe he took comfort in the fact that he didn't have to see and talk to B in person. There isn't a cyber wall separating them anymore, and Kyungsoo isn't sure what to do. 

If B wants to keep that wall, if B wants him to disappear, he would. Kyungsoo realizes how much of a coward he is when he finally admits this. He'd rather run away than stay and deal with consequences, or heaven forbid live up to expectations.

B clicks his tongue and shuffles over to where Kyungsoo stands, before placing his hands on Kyungsoo's shoulders "that won't be necessary, my darling Kyunggie." He says, the endearment not as elegant or stomach knotting as it normally is for Kyungsoo "as inthralling as having this exchange become a dirty little secret is, I'd rather keep you around. It would make things easier to be able to communicate in person and discuss things that are hard for me to get in word form."

Kyungsoo's heart jumps at the idea of being B's real life friend, someone he can call on when he needs them, someone he can meet for a cup of coffee and talk over story details he can't work out on his own. Kyungsoo's inner book worm sings at the thought of being able to be close to B and sit front row to his real time thoughts and creative process. The thought makes Kyungsoo's stomach clench in happiness, and any type of apprehension quickly filters out of him, replaced by excitement and he soon finds himself smiling, much to B's clear delight. 

"There's my Kyungsoo. I knew you were in there somewhere. So just think of this as a happy accident and that this will be one step further in our friendship, ok?" B asks, grabbing Kyungsoo's hands and bringing them to his chest "let's be very close from this point on, my darling Kyungsoo"

Kyungsoo's eyes widen and he blinks at the man in front of him. He would have been touched by B's words if it had not been for the fall of the already sparse piece of material covering the man's assets.

"B-B" Kyungsoo stutters, his cheeks turning redder by the second "t-towel"

B tilts his head and glances down at the floor where his towel is now pooled around his ankles. B hums and nonchalantly looks back up at Kyungsoo, not even looking the slightest bit fazed.

"It's natural, Kyungsoo. Plus, this will bring us closer. This is how men bond" B sends Soo a playful wink and steps back, letting go of the other man "also, call me Baekhyun... much more personal to use my name" then he leaves the room, walking as patiently and easily as if he were alone, while talking about how he was just about to order food, but mentioning that they can go out now that it's the two of them.

Kyungsoo stares after the man he's known for years, the man he thought he knew like the back of his hand. Kyungsoo, before this day would have sworn that he knew B's... err Baekhyun's soul, but as he watches glimpses of this man bound around his bedroom (because clearly, closing the door isn't a necessity to him), singing girl group songs, Kyungsoo feels shaken. This isn't the man he thought he knew, this isn't the man he's adored for years, this isn't the man he's irrevocably in love with. This has to be a joke, this isn't his B, this isn't the man that's etched into every bit of writing.

Kyungsoo is about to march right into Baekhyun's bedroom and demand to know what this pink haired weirdo did with his writer, when Baekhyun sudden says "I'm actually kind of glad you showed up... I'm a bit of lost in my writing right now. I'm at an impasse with my main character and usually you're one of the only people who can get me through it. It'll be nice to have you in front of me while I ramble"

Kyungsoo swallows thickly and bends down picking the earlier discarded towel. He folds it and sighs "where did you leave him?"

Kyungsoo swears he hears a smile in Baekhyun's voice when he answers and begins explaining in detail everything that had happened since they last communicated.

Kyungsoo halts in his folding and stares at the back of Baekhyun, while the man ridiculously struggles to put on a sweater. Kyungsoo turns his head away and chooses to listen to the words coming from the man, instead of his actions and feels his heart tug.

Familiarity stings at Kyungsoo's heart. This is a glimpse at B, this is a whisper the man he's come to know and understand so well. Baekhyun isn't what he expected but he can see peeks of him every now and then. Maybe as time goes on he'll learn to love Baekhyun's quirks just as much as he loves B's elegance and poetry.

Baekhyun comes out of his room dressed in an unbelievably tight pair of jeans and a slightly oversized pink sweater. Smirking at the folded cloth in Kyungsoo's hands.

"Always so controlled and orderly" Baekhyun comments.

Kyungsoo blushes and looks away "a-anyways, what is your impasse? It seems like you have a nice setup for your next part"

Baekhyun nods and takes the towel from Kyungsoo then much to his dismay throws it into his room "I don't know if they should fuck yet" he says casually and pads over to the door, putting on shoes "ready?" He asks, grabbing his keys.

Kyungsoo internally groans. Gods he hopes Baekhyun's quirks become endearing, and fast.

>>>>

Lazily stabbing at a tomato on his plate, Kyungsoo listens in great attention to Baekhyun explaining why his characters sexual scenes have to be placed just so. "You can't have them fuck too early, but you also don't want to cause the audience too much sexual tension. The book becomes tedious then" Baekhyun had supplied when Soo asked why this was important. 

Kyungsoo doesn't really know how to deal with Baekhyun's bluntness. B has always been reserved in emails, even using correct terminology and placing a romantic twist on these type of questions. It's not the first time that B's requested advice on to where to place the intimate scenes, but this is the fist time Kyungsoo's hearing it so... eccentrically.

Pulling out a small, hardcover notebook, Baekhyun writes down a few things, mumbling and nodding to himself. Kyungsoo lets him be, knowing how writers can be when they get into their own heads like this. 

Kyungsoo feels whiplash, like he's constantly having to keep up with two separate people. He doesn't know how to deal with this person sitting in front of him. Clearly regarding him like he did with B won't work, but how does Kyungsoo operate someone so... Baekhyun?

Putting his notebook away, Baekhyun silently begins to eat once again. It's one of the first moments Baekhyun's been anything close to quiet since they met and Kyungsoo exploits the moment for all he can. Unfortunately even in silence, Baekhyun is a creature that clearly needs to be studied in a controlled environment.

"Not what you expected right?" Baekhyun chuckles under his breath as he fixes Kyungsoo with a knowing look.

Kyungsoo blinks up at the man, who he had been watching eat with probably uncontrolled appall. Kyungsoo didn't mean to stare in such a way, he's just slightly thrown by the human garbage disposal known as Baekhyun. Seriously watching this man eat, is damn near startling.

"What do you mean?" Kyungsoo asks, adverting his eyes and grabbing his drink, taking a small sip.

"Me. I'm clearly not living up to the expectations you had of me" Baekhyun says, putting down the 8th piece of pizza he had been vacuuming into his mouth.

Kyungsoo clears his throat awkwardly "well I never really expected you to. Not that I even expected to meet you in person at all"

Baekhyun smiles wistfully and nods "I knew we'd meet one day, I just didn't think it would be so soon. I'm guessing the person you had worked up in your head was pretty great since you look so crushed"

Kyungsoo's eyes widen and he sits up straight, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to give off a bad impression. The last thing I want you to think is that I'm disappointed."

"But you are, aren't you?" Baekhyun questions, but the question doesn't really require an answer. They both know the truth.

"I-I'm sorry. I just had a different vision of you" Kyungsoo says, his head tilted down at the table.

Baekhyun laughs in that obnoxious high pitched manner and claps Kyungsoo's back "that's alright, Soo. I didn't think that you'd dream up someone like me. I know what I can be like, and I know I'm not everyone's ideal. I'm also me and I make no apologies for who I am."

Kyungsoo feels a pang of familiarity in Baekhyun's words. This is a side of his B that he loves dearly. The man's confidence and conviction always stunned him. Even when going head to head with higher ups, B always stood his ground and made it clear that he wanted things a certain way. B was strong and self aware. It's good to see that this hasn't changed.

"I like that about you. You're confident and real about yourself. It's a quality I always admired in you" Kyungsoo says, taking a small bite of his salad. (Baekhyun had whined about Soo getting a salad at a pizza place, but inevitably gave in when he realized the editor wasn't budging.)

Baekhyun seems taken off guard for a second, but then lets an easy smile slide over his lips "well a compliment from the great editor Do, I feel honored"

Kyungsoo sighs and rolls his eyes "I give you compliments all the time"

"About my writing, but you've never given me one about my personality or looks" Baekhyun blinks his eyes rapidly, dramatically showing off his eyelashes "someone as pretty as me feeds off compliments"

Kyungsoo pierces his lips and the response that falls from his lips comes automatically "you'll starve"

Baekhyun's eyes widen and he stares at Kyungsoo shocked. The editor sucks in a breath and holds a hand over his mouth, about to apologize profusely, before loud, boisterous laughter takes over the silence between them.

Kyungsoo is shocked to find Baekhyun doubled over in his chair laughing hysterically, while Kyungsoo himself sits there mortified at what he just said to his favorite writer. The man he's presumably in love with, he just insulted to the highest degree.

"I think I like you better in person, Kyungsoo" Baekhyun says, wiping tears out of his eyes "you don't have a filter this way. I love it"

Kyungsoo clenches his jaw and huffs out, looking away. There are a few select people who are able to truly get under Kyungsoo's skin and make him break control like that. His best friend, Jongin, and his boss, Junmyeon being on that list. Kyungsoo doesn't like not being able to control his words or feelings. 

The more Kyungsoo gets to know Baekhyun, the more dangerous and concerning he becomes. Kyungsoo hopes that B comes out soon and says that he was just messing with him. Kyungsoo pleads with every available god out there, that Baekhyun isn't the man he's completely fallen in love with.

>>>>

Groaning as he slumps down pitifully into his chair, Kyungsoo boots up his computer and sips at his hot green tea. (He's been trying to cut back on his usual triple shot espresso lately, he's far to stressed for that much caffeine to be healthy.) 

The normal routine of checking and answering email starts off Kyungsoo's work day, and he quickly loses himself in business. By the time lunch rolls around, Kyungsoo feels a small headache right behind his eyes and he has to pull himself away from his computer.

Kyungsoo checks his phone and feels a small pang of dread fill him. Baekhyun has sent him a full battery of messages, and has tried to call him twice. Kyungsoo internally groans with dread and pinches the bridge of his nose.

Baekhyun has been relentless as of late and Kyungsoo is starting to become truly annoyed by the pink haired pain in his ass. It's been weeks since Baekhyun has made an impromptu appearance in Kyungsoo's life, and Kyungsoo still doesn't know how to accept the man. B however is lovely, B is perfect and mannered. Baekhyun had agreed to keep emails formal and professional, continuing to sign them with his pen name in case Kyungsoo has to forward or show anyone said emails. 

Kyungsoo was so lost, feeling like he had whiplash. One side, there's Baekhyun, a loud mouthed, blunt, little freak that Kyungsoo has no idea how to deal with, and then on the others there's B... B is perfect, eloquent. B makes Kyungsoo's heart stutter with butterflies, while Baekhyun makes his stomach burn with distaste. 

Kyungsoo eventually had to separate the two, into completely different people. Kyungsoo regards B with delighted loyalty, while he treats Baekhyun with exhausted responsibility. Because unfortunately, B doesn't come unattached to Baekhyun, so Kyungsoo puts up with the weird little puppy. 

Kyungsoo quickly realized that B comes out more and he gets more productive, when Baekhyun is kept happy. Like last week when Kyungsoo was dragged to a terrible movie with cheap, rounchy humor that was in all honesty completely distasteful. Baekhyun had laughed and nearly peed himself. (Seriously, Kyungsoo had to rush Baekhyun to the bathroom and help him with his pants because he was wiggling around to much, before he went all over himself.) Two days later, Kyungsoo had a complete chapter in his hands, one so well written he barely had to make changes and fixes. It usually takes B a week or longer to produce a chapter... Kyungsoo knew what he needed to do from that point on.

Keep Baekhyun happy and B will take care of the rest. Kyungsoo accepted this, but at the same time he hates how things have developed. Baekhyun is exhausting and seriously not the person Kyungsoo thought he'd be.

Kyungsoo's considered that maybe Baekhyun is a shield for B. That maybe B sent Baekhyun in to pretend to be himself, so B can still keep his true identity a secret. But Kyungsoo has seen it, he's seen moments where B and Baekhyun become the same person. 

A couple days ago, Kyungsoo went to the bookstore, like he usually does on a Sunday and Baekhyun tagged along. (Baekhyun followed Kyungsoo around all weekend, saying he gets his inspiration from his favorite editor. Kyungsoo had immediately called bullshit, but allowed it when Baekhyun agreed to stay silent and keep to himself.) Twenty minutes in, to his panicked dismay, he lost Baekhyun. After frantically searching the whole store, Kyungsoo found him in the kids books, surrounded by a group of small children, while he read Dr. Seus aloud. The way Baekhyun read, his annunciation and voice steady, unlike his modern slang and sexual innuendos he enjoys speaking in normally. 

In that moment Kyungsoo saw a shimmer of B in Baekhyun's eyes and Kyungsoo grasped desperately at it. Kyungsoo hid himself and watched Baekhyun trough three children's books. Kyungsoo was transfixed, unable to look away, and when Baekhyun finally noticed him and smiled, Kyungsoo felt his heart tremble in the way it does when he reads one of B'a emails.

B disappeared all too soon though, when the kids ran back to their parents and Baekhyun got up, saying his ass was numb, and would need to bounce on his suction cup dildo for twenty minutes to get feeling back. Kyungsoo thinks Baekhyun might need to be institutionalized.

Kyungsoo's head snaps up, coming back to real life when his phone vibrates in his hand. A quick eye roll, then he answers.

"Yes, Baekhyun? Make it quick, I'm at work" Kyungsoo says, making his tone short so Baekhyun gets the notion to not be chatty.

"Soo, I need your help" Baekhyun says sounding a little breathless.

Kyungsoo feels a red flag raise in his head "what's wrong?"

Baekhyun whines "come over. Please help me"

Kyungsoo sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose again, his headache intensifies "is this a real emergency, Baekhyun? Do you really need me?"

"Yes" Baekhyun whimpers, his normal needy sound that Kyungsoo's come to thoroughly hate "I need your help, Kyungsoo-ah"

Kyungsoo winces at the endearment and sighs more heavily this time "fine, I was going to take lunch anyways. This better be important, Baekhyun"

"It is, just hurry" Baekhyun says quickly and hangs up, leaving Kyungsoo to dread over what could possibly be waiting for him.

......

Kyungsoo punches in the numbers, already having learned his lesson that Baekhyun doesn't answer the door. Last time Kyungsoo came over and knocked, Baekhyun had yelled at the door saying "you know the fucking code. Get your sexy ass in here"

Kyungsoo enters the Barbie vomit colored apartment and takes his shoes off. He calls out for the pink haired pain in his ass and gets a response from the bedroom. Kyungsoo heads that way, mentally playing the Star Wars death march.

When Kyungsoo opens the door, he freezes and blinks intensely at the scene in front of him. Kyungsoo swallows thickly and spins around, holding his head in his hands and wondering why the universe hates him.

"Soo, help me" Baekhyun whines, once again.

Kyungsoo closes his eyes and clenches his jaw "wh-why are are... why are you like this?"

"Kyungsoo, please" Baekhyun begs.

Kyungsoo finally presses down his murderous instinct and turns around, still refusing to look at the man currently kneeling on his bed, with his knees spread, and his ass facing a giant standing mirror set at the end of his bed... butt ass naked.

"What are you doing, Baekhyun?" Kyungsoo asks barely containing the exasperation in his voice.

"I'm shaving" Baekhyun says simply, like this is the most normal thing in the world for him to be doing right now.

Baekhyun holds up a razor and stretches out his arm as if to hand it to Kyungsoo, who stares at the other in disbelief.

"I'm sorry, what exactly do you want me to help you with?" Kyungsoo asks in a raised octave.

Baekhyun groans and lays his head down on the bedspread, his hand still outstretched "I can't reach or see my ass crack thoroughly, please help me"

"Oh fuck no" Kyungsoo says before he can drop his filter.

Baekhyun's head snaps up and he stares at Kyungsoo with pleading and almost desperate eyes "please, Soo. The hair is getting too bushy down there and it's becoming uncomfortable. I can't even concentrate on my writing because it's irritating" 

Kyungsoo blinks steadily, his mind processing the fact that he's actually considering this. Baekhyun can't write, it's effecting his writing and it's Kyungsoo's job to help his author. Its Kyungsoo's job to do anything possible to give his writer the most optimal writing environment possible. This is how Kyungsoo rationalizes the fact that he spends the next twenty minutes up close, too close, with Baekhyun ass.

>>>>

"Come on, please" that voice Kyungsoo has come to associate with the sound of a high pitched beeping sound repeatedly going off in his ear, pleads.

Kyungsoo sighs and rubs his temple as he stands outside a restaurant he was going to get take out from. Kyungsoo had planned a nice evening of quiet, alone time, but of course, Baekhyun always has other ideas.

"I don't know, Baekhyun. It's been a long day" Kyungsoo explains, sounding pathetically exhausted, even to him.

Baekhyun hums and seems to think this over "it won't take long, just one movie. It's for research. It gives me ideas and inspiration. I always get better material when I can discuss my ideas and makes comments with someone"

Kyungsoo wonders for the millionth time in the past couple of days if his job is worth it. Kyungsoo's shoulders slump, giving it. He knows he loves his job and wouldn't give it up for anything, even for extra annoyances like Baekhyun.

"I'll be there in a few" Kyungsoo drawls, holding his phone a bit away from his ear, already expecting the loud sound coming from the other end.

Baekhyun squeaks happily, (one of his ways of communicating, Kyungsoo has figured out) and says thank you, before hanging up the phone.

Kyungsoo glances once more at the take out restaurant and walks in, ordering twice as much as he had planned to.

......

Moans and heavy breathing fill the room, echoing off the walls, as a thick aura of dirty, steamy passion encases Kyungsoo's surroundings. The air almost feels dense with sexual energy, but unfortunately it's wasted on the two people currently breathing it.

Kyungsoo yawns and watches the people on the screen with barely contained boredom. Kyungsoo has never really been into straight porn, it doesn't really do anything for him.

"See, the way she tries to sexily look right at the camera and licks her lips, that's just not sexy. She looks like she's trying to hard." Baekhyun points out and Kyungsoo has to agree with him.

Kyungsoo had shown up a half an hour ago with food in hand, while Baekhyun wiggled over to him like a puppy wagging their tail so hard their whole body moves. Kyungsoo had been amused, until they were sitting on the couch and Baekhyun had started up the video. As soon as the cheesy dialogue and tacky music started playing, Kyungsoo knew exactly what he was in for. He almost got up right then and left, but Baekhyun actually pulled out a notepad and started writing things down, then proceeded to make intelligent points and observations about what was happening on the screen. Kyungsoo had been so intrigued to watch the weirdest research known to man, that he stayed and still can't bring himself to actually leave.

Baekhyun sighs and shakes his head "there's no romance in porn these days, its all about kink and sexualization. The story line, the sincerity... that's what turns me on, not this shit"

"Then why do you watch it?" Kyungsoo finds himself asking.

Baekhyun smirks and makes another note on his pad "lets just say i'm not as versed with straight sex and I need ideas for moves and positions"

Kyungsoo mulls this over and gets an idea that surprisingly makes his stomach knot for some reason "you said that talking to someone while you do this helps your creative process, does that mean you usually do this with someone else?"

Baekhyun absentmindedly nods while watching the screen intently as the man bends the woman into a pretzel, before writing somethings down "my best friend, Chanyeol... but he's been occupied with planning his funeral to become Satan's bitch"

Kyungsoo blinks and lifts an eyebrow, asking for a further explanation, but Baekhyun doesn't supply one. The other just focuses on the screen and Kyungsoo sighs, looking at his watch and wondering if Junmyeon would let him work from home for a couple weeks. Kyungsoo might like the life of a shut in, lots of alone time, never having to leave the house, he gets endless amounts of sleep, and most importantly... no Baekhyun. 

>>>>

Deep breath in, deep breath out. Kyungsoo repeats this mantra and he smiles down into his coffee. He finally has a day to himself. Baekhyun had reported earlier that he was going to spend the whole day writing and that he was going on radio silence.

Kyungsoo had been so happy to hear this that it almost brought tears to his eyes. Kyungsoo immediately called Junmyeon to tell him he was working from home today and that he wouldn't be taking calls from the office.

An hour later Kyungsoo sits in his favorite coffee shop, his beloved triple shot in his hands, as he nearly breaths in the wonderful liquid.

"You worry me sometimes" 

Kyungsoo hums and opens his eyes, glancing up at Jongin who stands before him in a pair of baby blue scrubs, with a coffee in hand.

Kyungsoo grins up at the surgeon and sighs contently "why is that, Jongin-ah?"

Jongin's eyebrows nearly touch his hairline, and he sits down across from his best friend "oh dear god, you've finally lost it"

A short laugh falls from Kyungsoo's lips and he shakes his head "probably... he's pushed me to this"

"Who?" Jongin asks, his eyes holding caution, maybe in case Soo snaps.

Kyungsoo blinks and straightens up, finally realizing how much Jongin doesn't know. Baekhyun has been monopolizing so much of his time, he's barely spent any time with his best friend in the past month.

"I met B" Kyungsoo says biting his lip nervously, wondering how one of Baekhyun's biggest fans will take this news.

Jongin blinks at his friend, "really?" He asks, no where near the amount of surprise or excitement he was expecting. "You don't seem enthused about that"

Kyungsoo eyes the younger man suspiciously, but then shrugs and lets it go "he's not what I expected is all. I had a clear image of B in my head, and I've had it stripped away from me since I met the real B"

Jongin sighs and shakes his head as if upset at his friend "you know as well as I do that everyone isn't the same in writing as they are in person, even you text differently than you speak"

Kyungsoo sits back, taken off guard by Jongin's little rant "o-of course I didn't expect him to be exactly like the image in my head. I realize he's your favorite author, Jongin, but there's no reason to go on the defensive. I'm just saying that he's like a completely different person and I don't know how to navigate him"

"He's not a ship, Kyungsoo" Jongin says pointedly "he's a fucking human being. Not everyone is going to mold or bend to your every ideal." Jongin notices Kyungsoo's expression and softens his tone with a sigh "You made out this perfect vision of him in your head. You made him into your soulmate, but it's kind of a dick move to dislike someone because they don't live up to what you expect them to be. Forget about B. Forget about this disillusion you made up in your imagination and give the actual guy a chance." 

Kyungsoo huff out a frustrated breath "you don't understand, Jongin. I'm completely out of my element here. He's... the exact type of person I make a point to keep my distance from. He's loud and opinionated. He's blunt and overly inappropriate. Ba- B is the kind of person I'd go out of my way to stay away from, not get close to"

Jongin stops short, sitting back in his seat, giving Kyungsoo a sort of disappointed expression, something he's never experienced from Jongin before. "You have a chance to get close to someone that some of us just dream of meeting. You have the ability to truly know the brilliant man behind your favorite books. So what if he gets you out of your comfort zone. So what if he's different than what you expected. If you seriously think it's ok to judge someone you made up in your imagination, then you're the one with the problem, and don't deserve B's time."

Kyungsoo stares at Jongin stunned by his passionate outburst. He hadn't thought that Jongin would be this upset by his opinion of his favorite author, clearly he misjudged how highly his best friend thinks of Baekhyun. Kyungsoo wonders if that opinion would change if he actually got to meet the pink haired annoyance.

Jongin abruptly stands up and chews roughly at his lip, a habit Jongin has when he gets nervous or agitated "I've always been on your side, hyung... but on this, i'm taking B's. Please pull your head out of your ass and give B the chance he deserves"

The young doctor storms out of the cafe and Kyungsoo is left there feeling like a complete ass. Jongin is right, Kyungsoo has no right to judge Baekhyun based on his own biases. Kyungsoo had spent so long dreaming up this image of B in his head that when he met Baekhyun he forced these ideals on him. It isn't fair to do such a thing to the pink haired monster. Maybe Kyungsoo should give Baekhyun a legitimate chance... Baekhyun can't get much worse than he already is, so how bad could it be?

>>>>

"For fucks sake" Kyungsoo curses when he finally sees the place Baekhyun is dragging him to on his lunch hour.

Baekhyun holds up his hands and gives Kyungsoo a bright smile "Wait. Don't go all Kyungsoo on me. Give it a shot"

Kyungsoo vigorously shakes his head "Baekhyun, no"

The pink haired puppy pushes out his lips and begin to pout, while holding onto Kyungsoo's hands tightly "come on. Please, Soo"

"What? Is this also research?" Kyungsoo asks, gesturing wildly towards the adult toy shop they are currently standing in front of.

Kyungsoo was just heading out for a nice, quiet lunch by himself, a little moment of piece in his hectic week, when he was suddenly captured by a little troll with pink hair. Kyungsoo didn't even try to resist, knowing it would just encourage Baekhyun. Kyungsoo has just become numb to the mans antics at this point and finds it takes more energy to fight it, than it does to just go along and hope he doesn't end up in a tattoo parlor or worse, an anime shop. (Kyungsoo doesn't want to experience that ever again. Baekhyun now has a full sailor moon costume in his closet. Kyungsoo refuses to remember that day. There's only so much of Baekhyun in tight spandex he can take for one lifetime.)

Instead though, Kyungsoo currently stands outside of a place he never thought he'd have to dread going into. Baekhyun bounces on his toes and giggles excitedly.

"Nope, this one is for fun" He winks playfully at his editor, then pulls him inside of the place. 

Kyungsoo sags his shoulders in defeat and sighs, hoping Baekhyun is his normal hyperactive self and makes this as quick as possible.

They walk into the shop, Kyungsoo cringing at the sexual merchandise covering the store. Everything from toys to role play costumes lay across the small space. Shelves and displays line the walls, leaving absolutely no where safe for Kyungsoo to look. 

"Baekhyun, welcome back" a young man painted completely in tattoos greets from behind the counter. He has catlike eyes and a dangerous look on his stupidly attractive face.

Kyungsoo would normally give this type of person a second glance, but he'd never approach or dare to talk to him. 

"Tao" Baekhyun greets the boy, waving friendlily.

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. Of course the pink haired freak would be on a first name bases with the guy who runs the adult shop. Kyungsoo's not even slightly surprised at this point.

"Anything new?" Baekhyun asks, flitting up to the counter and leaning against it.

Tao smirks and mimics Baekhyun's actions, giving the author an easy smirk "a few things"

Baekhyun suddenly leans up, seeming to startle the shop boy, and looks over at Kyungsoo with an uncertain glance, before his eyes fall back to the tattooed man. Kyungsoo almost thinks he imagined it, the look was so quick, but he can tell by the way Tao looks at him that he has seen it too.

Baekhyun smiles warmly at Tao, but it holds none of the flirty tone it did before. Kyungsoo sighs, it's not like Baekhyun can't flirt with people in front of him. All of the weird shit he's done and he's worried about flirting with a very attractive man in front of him. Kyungsoo decides to just stop trying to figure out why Baekhyun does the things he does.

"Would you mind showing me?" Baekhyun bounces with uncontained excitement.

Tao snorts and nods, coming out from behind the counter, wearing a breathtakingly tight pair of leather pants.

Kyungsoo feels a kick of arousal watching the man stalk across the room, followed by a nearly skipping Baekhyun. Kyungsoo sucks in a quiet, but sharp breath as he gets a good view of Tao in those pants, and he immediately thanks the genius who decided to put leather in pant form.

Tao proceeds to lead Baekhyun over to a wall with a fancy display, showing him some toys and pulling some things off the wall. Tao demonstrates how the toys work, using motions that are completely unnecessary. Kyungsoo swallows thickly and fans himself, turning away from the intensely attractive man.

Kyungsoo situates his attention on a lovely shelf devoted to a heavier subject that he wasn't prepared for. He reaches out and traces the thick leather that tears out into a bunch of strips at the end, and clears his throat feeling uncomfortable. Kyungsoo is totally out of his element in here.

"You didn't seem like a whip and chains guy" a low, scratchy voice whispers in his ear.

Kyungsoo jumps and turns his head to where Tao is leaning his own over his shoulder. Close... way too close.

Tao smirks and reaches around Kyungsoo, his arm brushing the smaller man's waist. Kyungsoo feels a burst of fire spread from the point that Tao touched him, and flowering all over his body.

"I would suggest a crop, rather than a whip. You can control the hits and sensations better" Tao draws, pulling a long stick with a flat paddle sort of thing at the end.

Kyungsoo would never even think to have looked or even been curious about such a thing. But the way Tao's fingers brush over the leather has Kyungsoo's body buzzing with interest.

"Any other suggestions?" Kyungsoo asks, just wanting to keep Tao talking.

Tao smirks, and nods "I might have a few more pointers"

Kyungsoo is about to reply when suddenly his name is called in a tone that sounds like Tinkerbell having an orgasm. "Kyungsoo-ah"

Kyungsoo turns around and nearly doubles over at the sight that greets him. Baekhyun stands before him, a thick collar tightly secured around his neck, with a long chain leash attached. Kyungsoo blinks at Baekhyun, but can't seem to find anything to say or do in response to this situation.

"Are you into BDSM?" Baekhyun asks his eyes wide as he glances at the objects Kyungsoo and Tao were just heavily flirting over.

Kyungsoo finally regains his senses and feels his cheeks burn "n-no... I just... I was just looking and Tao was telling me about some of it... that's all"

Baekhyun cocks his head and narrows his eyes, seeming to focus his scrutinizing gaze on Tao for longer than necessary; but then grins and reverts back into normal cheeky Baekhyun like nothing happened.

"Kay. Hold this" Baekhyun says handing Kyungsoo the end to the leash attached to the collar around his neck.

Kyungsoo stares at it confused as to what he is to do with it, before Baekhyun stuns the editor by dropping to his knees and sitting back on his heels. Kyungsoo's jaw nearly hits the floor as the chain extends, forcing Kyungsoo to tighten his grip on the end, before it is brought to full tension, while Baekhyun looks up at him expectant.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Kyungsoo nearly shouts.

Baekhyun furrows his eyebrows and tilts his head to the side, jingling the chain in the act. Kyungsoo has to stop himself from tightening his hand around the handle resting against his palm further and yanking, while Baekhyun gives him a searching expressing.

Baekhyun chuckles and quickly stands back up "I have to test it out. It needs to be the right length. Nothing worse than getting choked out because the chain is too short"

Kyungsoo stares dumbfounded at the author, who takes the leash out of his hand, before shrugging nonchalantly and walking back over to the other side of the store. 

"What the fuck just happened?" Kyungsoo asks quietly.

A snort leaves Tao's lips "Baekhyun's always been like that. He's just in a different world. Oh look, he found the body harnesses, that'll be fun for you"

Kyungsoo blanches at this and snaps his head in Tao's direction "Baekhyun and I are not together"

Tao raises an eyebrow, while an amused smirk plays on his beautiful lips "really? I could have sworn that..." Tao pauses seeming to think over something "Baek's never brought anyone in here before.

Knots form in Kyungsoo's stomach at this information for an unknown reason and he sighs "not at all, we're just... coworkers"

Tao makes a face for a second, one Kyungsoo would have missed if he hadn't been paying attention "funny, I've been working with the same people for years, but I'd still never trust any of them the way he just did with you"

"What do you mean?" Kyungsoo's asks, failing to understand.

Tao breaths out a short laugh "what Baekhyun just did with the collar, and dropping to his knees... it's a huge sign of submission and trust. That level of trust is something Dom and Subs work years to achieve"

Kyungsoo clears his throat and abruptly feels slightly overwhelmed "but... I don't... we don't"

Tao holds up a hand "just an observation from a complete outside observer. I'm probably reading more into it, plus it's Baekhyun... so"

A knowing sigh escapes Kyungsoo and he decides that he's had enough of the pink haired troll for the day "Baekhyun, I have to go back to work"

Baekhyun turns around, his face already set in a deep pout and points at an object in his hand, that looks like some sort of plug. Kyungsoo decides he doesn't want to know and turns to Tao offering him a short smile and a bow before he leaves the shop, heading back to Wolf Publishing.

Kyungsoo hears his name called almost a block from his office and turns to find an out of breath and very much flustered looking Baekhyun running towards him.

"Soo" Baekhyun says, his breath coming out in fast pants "why didn't you wait?"

The clench of his jaw is automatic, as is the cross of his arms. Kyungsoo feels angry, annoyed, and even a little confused. This person, this man who is completely a giant pain in his ass just feels that he can do whatever he wants. How in the hell does he rationalize even half of the things he does? He is the complete opposite of the man he thought he loved, and Kyungsoo is so done with Byun Baekhyun it isn't even funny.

Kyungsoo wants B back. He missed the perfect, tactful, eloquent man of his dreams. Baekhyun may be beautiful, but he's nothing like his precious B, his wonderful, perfect writer that made his heart sing every time he received a message. Baekhyun, the loud, obnoxious, mental case is what he has to deal with now and he'd rather never hear from B for the rest of his life, than deal with Baekhyun for one more second.

"I can't stand you, don't you see that?" Kyungsoo hisses at Baekhyun.

The pink haired man stands up straight and immediately tenses. A serious Baekhyun isn't what Kyungsoo's used to dealing with, but it makes saying this easier.

"How could you possibly think that dragging me to an adult toy store on my lunch hour is ok? How could you possibly think that any of the things you do, or shit you say is appropriate? Baekhyun, you are the weirdest, shameless person I have ever met and frankly you were right... you don't live up to my expectations, in fact you are nothing I expected at all and that only proves that meeting was a mistake. I just want us to go back to the way thing were. I want to go back to Kyungsoo and B, speaking strictly through email or text and regarding each other in a professional and formal manner. I want to go back to when I didn't know you" Kyungsoo says, breathing heavily as his rant had come out in a complete rush.

Kyungsoo takes a minute to steady himself before he realized everything that had just come out of his mouth. He looks up slowly, his eyes wide and terrified of how heartbroken Baekhyun might look.

To his surprise, Kyungsoo finds a somber, stoic expression on Baekhyun face. Complete stone, like a sculpture in a museum, void of any emotions. This might be worse than anything Kyungsoo could have imagined.

"Ok" Baekhyun says "lets go back to how things were before then. I don't know you, you don't know me, and we regard each other with complete formality"

Kyungsoo's floored. His head doesn't know how to process this.

Baekhyun smiles simply, but it doesn't touch his eyes, it doesn't show Baekhyun. This is B, Kyungsoo realizes quickly. The man he's been waiting to meet, the man he's in love with is standing right in front of him. So why does Kyungsoo feel so empty and cold?

"What?" Kyungsoo asks pathetically.

B claps his hands together and regards Kyungsoo calmly "I'm sorry if I was a little much, Kyungsoo. I know how I can be, it's one of the reasons I won't go public with my actual name. I don't feel that people can handle me. They'd more than likely think I was weird and annoying, like I now understand, you do. I thought you'd be different though, I thought you'd understand me since you've basically read every inch of my soul through my writing. Clearly I was wrong to assume the kind of person you'd be. I apologize, that was my mistake."

Baekhyun bows lightly and says a formal goodbye before starting to walk away. Kyungsoo doesn't know why he feels like his chest is imploding, this is what he had wanted after all.

"Baek" Kyungsoo calls, wishing the man would just turn around and laugh that high pitched obnoxious laugh of his, but he's once again greeted by the stone face of B.

"Don't worry, Kyungsoo. I won't bother you again" Baekhyun says, before giving him a polite smile, that he swears he can see a flash of sadness in.

Baekhyun turns and walks away, disappearing quickly down the block and Kyungsoo is left standing there, his chest concaving. He doesn't understand, this is what he had wished for, a life without the pain in the ass known as Baekhyun. Kyungsoo just wanted his old, simple, Baekhyunless life back, but standing here on the street, people passing by him immersed in their own lives... for the fist time in his life, Kyungsoo feels alone.


	3. Underlying meanings

I'm having a bit of trouble with this next chapter, so i hope you understand that i need a few extra days on it. I apologize for the inconvenience, Kyungsoo. I wholeheartedly promise to do everything in my ability to make up for it.

     -B

Kyungsoo has been religiously reading over this email for the past hour, trying to figure out exactly why it makes his chest clench so uncomfortably. It's been almost a month since his blow up at the pink haired puppy, and since then Baekhyun has done exactly as he wanted. Formal. Polite. Zero contact outside of email. Baekhyun hasn't even texted him. Kyungsoo feels a way he's not used to feeling, and it's entirely unsettling. 

Kyungsoo has always been content to be alone. He's never needed someone by his side, nor has he really ever wanted anyone. Pre-Baekhyun, the editor would normally go home after a full days work to his cozy apartment, make himself some dinner, and put on a drama or curl up with a good book. He was always pleased with his life as such, and favored his quiet, solo existence. Post-Baekhyun, everything feels off. His once cozy apartment feels lifeless, cold, and empty. (He even found himself looking at pink wallpaper the other day and not feeling nauseated)

Nothing feels right anymore. The quiet is deafening, and soldiery seems... lonely. Kyungsoo feels so hallowed out, even his once ideal schedule just doesn't feel right anymore and the worst part is that he knows what his life... his soul is missing.

Kyungsoo was under the impression that he hated Baekhyun, the inappropriate disturbance, constantly reeking havoc on his life and creating problems. But as Kyungsoo stares at the most recent email, he can't shake this feeling of worry. Kyungsoo wants to help Baekhyun through his problem, he wants to comfort Baekhyun over this issue as he always has, but most importantly though he just wants to see Baekhyun. 

Fine, Kyungsoo admits it. He misses Baekhyun. Not B, the man of suave wording and perfect grammar, but Baekhyun, the man who has entirely too much anime merchandise to be normal, and makes every other sentence into a sexual innuendo. Kyungsoo misses Byun Baekhyun, and he doesn't know what to do.

Swallowing one's pride is sometimes the hardest thing to do, but Kyungsoo knows that he was in the wrong. He said some horrible things to Baekhyun, someone who unbelievably became a close friend, just because he let his anger and annoyance get the best of him. Jongin was right, he let his expectations overshadow the person that Baekhyun is. Kyungsoo can't say that under normal circumstances that Baekhyun and he would have ended up friends, but the younger editor knows that he wouldn't have despised Baekhyun so completly, like he did. Kyungsoo thinks it was the disappointment and maybe even resentment that the person he had built in his head was eaten by the little monster called Baekhyun. 

Kyungsoo met B. He's been in front of the controlled, sophisticated man and he felt nothing. Kyungsoo may have loved the way B wrote emails, and wrote texts, but there isn't anything more to that person. B is just a front, a face to put on when Baekhyun doesn't want the world to see him. The emotions and words, are Baekhyun's, not B's. Kyungsoo's seen under that mask, and he now knows he'll never be able to stare at that mask and feel comforted ever again. Baekhyun is too real for Kyungsoo to go back to how things once were.

With a quick deep breath and a deciding nod, Kyungsoo pulls out his cellphone and dials the phone number almost as familiar as his own now. It rings twice.

"Kyungsoo?" Baekhyun sounds uncertain, cautious.

"What kind of problem are you having? Do you need to talk through it?" Kyungsoo asks, keeping his voice as stable as he can.

Silence greets him. Kyungsoo is almost about to check to see if Baekhyun hung up (which he has every right to do), before "I don't understand" fills the empty airwaves "You said..." 

Kyungsoo sighs at that trail off and nods despite the author not being able to see him. "i know what i said, and it was wrong of me. I was an ass, and i'm really sorry i said those things"

Baekhyun seems to mull this over, taking his time to respond, but he just releases a sad sounding sigh and settles with "i have work to do, Kyungsoo. We can talk more about this later, ok? I have to go, goodbye"

The line goes dead, and Kyungsoo sits there stunned. Baekhyun would have normally accepted his apology, and went on like normal. (Kyungsoo had once broke one of the man's anime figurines in Baekhyun's house and apologized for a whole minute over it, before Baekhyun just laughed it off and didn't give it a second thought.) Baekhyun's not the type to hold grudges, so that means something is really wrong... it means Kyungsoo majorly fucked up.

.....

Kyungsoo stands before Baekhyun's door twenty minutes later. He decided to take one from Baekhyun's book, and be bold for once. Kyungsoo will grovel on his knees if he must, he just needs Baekhyun to forgive him... He needs Baekhyun period. 

Coming to this conclusion wasn't easy for the editor, always one to swear on taking his feelings and emotions to the grave, but he can no longer escape how he feels about Baekhyun. On the subway ride over here, Kyungsoo realized that the love he once felt for B, is still there. The butterfly's in his stomach and knots in his chest that he used to feel for B, didn't disappear because Baekhyun appeared... actually Kyungsoo thinks these feelings might have intensified. Underneath all of the crazy shit Baekhyun did, was a fondness, an affection Kyungsoo didn't expect to feel for the pink haired weirdo. All of it was covered up with annoyance and his own stubbornness, but all of it was there, growing, changing into a love he failed to understand until now. It's undeniable now though, despite how much Baekhyun still annoys the ever living shit out of him, he's unmistakably in love with the eccentric pixie. 

The editor now understands why he was so in love with the idea of B, why he romanticized the unobtainable entity of his imagination, because he was just that... unobtainable, unreachable. If the person didn't actually exist, then the disappointment and inevitable hurt wouldn't either. It's easy to make this perfect image in your head, because that image can also have a perfect ending, but there's also a loneliness in that ideal perfection, an emptiness that lacks his changed perspective. His idea of perfection is altered now, in fact his idea of perfect is on the other side of this door, and needs Kyungsoo, just as much as Kyungsoo needs him.

He hesitates, but only for a second, before Kyungsoo punches in the code and makes his way inside, about to confront the pink haired bean. The boy is probably siting at his computer, with some sort of anime playing in the background, completely stuck in his own head, but what greets him instead makes his stomach drop all the way to the floor.

The room is dark. The shades are drawn and Kyungsoo can barely see anything, but he can tell the room is a mess just by the small amount of light flooding in from the muted tv playing a movie menu on repeat. Kyungsoo hesitantly inches his way over to the window and throws open the curtains, flooding the room with brightness and almost wishes he hadn't. 

The room is a disaster. Cloths, pillows, stuffed animals and random fabric are thrown all over the floor, in shreds like Edward scissor hands was let loose in Baekhyun's closet. Figurines, and other toys smashed to pieces, laying in fragments across the floor. The worst part is the posters of Baekhyun's favorite shows, dramas, and anime's are ripped off the walls, leaving them bare and exposed. Kyungsoo can't breath properly at how terrifying this all looks. It feels like it isn't just Baekhyun's apartment that's been destroyed, but Baekhyun himself. 

Baekhyun had many times expressed his love for his apartment. One of the first major purchases he had ever made after he published his first bestseller. Baekhyun filled this place with things he loved, things that made him, Baekhyun. Kyungsoo feels a pit of dread settle in his chest.

"Why are you here?" a scruffy, rough sounding voice asks, startling Kyungsoo.

The editor looks over to the side of the living room that Baekhyun had made into his personal office and finds a small outline, huddled agaisnt the wall in the corner he hadn't noticed before. Kyungsoo regains a bit of his lung function, having thought that maybe someone had broken in and feared the worst for Baekhyun, but now he sees the boy is ok, he can breath again.

"What happened here, Baek?" Kyungsoo questions, watching his feet and carefully stepping over broken things to get to his friend.

Baekhyun sighs almost sounding exhausted "answer me"

Kyungsoo stops and looks up, finally noticing that something is extremely off with Baekhyun and answers cautiously "i wanted to come and check on you. I was worried, and clearly I was right to do so." Kyungsoo slowly continues his track over to Baekhyun and stops right in front of where he can now see his author sitting on the floor, huddled in the corner, with his knees pressed to his chest. 

"Why do you care?" Baekhyun ask, his voice bitter and harsh sounding to Kyungsoo's ears.

Kyungsoo winces, knowing he deserves this and more, before shrugging, and shamefully picking at his fingernails "I was a dick, and said some really awful things that i didn't mean, but that doesn't mean I don't care. You're incredibly important to me and I deeply care about you. I shouldn't have said what I did. I'm sorry."

Baekhyun breaths out fully, seeming to take Kyungsoo's words into thought "if you didn't mean them, then why did you say them?"

Kyungsoo sighs and bites his lip unsure of where to start "I think... my disappointment that you weren't the person i had imagined got the best of me, and the whole time instead of getting to know you and enjoying the person you are, i resented you for not being who i wanted you to be... but that fucked up i guess, because i find myself missing the ever living shit out of you, Baek... not B, but you. You threw me out of my comfort zone and I thought I hated you for that, but I think I actually needed you"

Slight movement indicates to Kyungsoo that Baekhyun's looking up at him, and Kyungsoo crouches down to get eye level and to actually see the bean closer. The shadows of Baekhyun's desk skew a lot, but Baekhyun looks like a mess. It seems like he hasn't showered, or ran a brush through his hair in days; and for Baekhyun, who's personal hygiene was impeccable the whole time Kyungsoo got to know him, this is beyond strange.

"Now, i answered your question... now answer mine. What happened here, Baek?" Kyungsoo says softly.

A small sniffling noise pulls from the boy and Kyungsoo's heart clenches. "Kyungsoo... am I really cut out for this? Do you think my readers really like my books? Do you think I'm even that good at writing?"

"How can you ask that? Baek, you've been on the bestsellers list over three times. And you will be again. Trust me, Baek, this next book will be your best one yet" Kyungsoo answers immediately, not used to seeing his writer lose confidence in himself like this.

Kyungsoo is familiar with this. A great deal of authors go through periods of doubt, and second guessing. It's normal for people in this profession, but Kyungsoo never assumed it could even happen to Baekhyun because he's always been so confident and self assured. Kyungsoo also knows that this is his fault. He made Baekhyun question himself and everything he is. If Kyungsoo didn't already feel like the biggest asshole, he does now.

"This is because of what i said to you, isn't it? Because i threw a temper tantrum and called you out on your weird shit? Baekhyun, everyone is weird."

"Don't give me that, 'it's ok to be weird, because everyone is weird' bullshit... you know i'm on a different level" Baekhyun interrupts, his tone sounding defeated "even you hated me because i'm a fucking nutcase... you're the one person I was sure could..." a sigh "never mind"

Kyungsoo closes his eyes briefly, and takes a deep breath "I don't hate you, Baek. That was my problem, not yours. Seriously, you're actually pretty amazing. You're outgoing, vocal, honest, and even fun. I think i had the most fun with you the past couple of months than i had in a while... but like i said, i just refused to let myself enjoy it because of my own issues. I'm sorry for what i said, like really really sorry, and i didn't mean any of it"

Baekhyun sighs and scoots forward a bit "really is a terrible word to use when adding emphasis. It's lazy"

A smile tugs at Kyungsoo's lips at this "Extremely, exceptionally, surprisingly, vastly, unquestionably, sorry"

"Stop it, you're making me hard" Baekhyun says, and Kyungsoo can't help the laugh that pushes out. "seriously though, do you think people would like me? If i ever did come out from behind my pen name?"

Kyungsoo smiles and reaches out petting Baekhyun's cheek affectionately, not missing the slight widening of the boy's eyes at the action "It would take adjustment, and i'm sure there would be a few people who think you're weird" His face sinks a little and Kyungsoo is quick to add the last bit "but, i think they'd love you, Baek. You're funny, witty, charismatic, and more importantly, a brilliant writer. Baek, your books stand alone without your face, imagine what they'd do if people could see your gorgeous eyes and bright smile being the front of their favorite books"

Baekhyun seems to finally hear what Kyungsoo is saying and some life seems to fill his features once again. They take a minute, just kind of letting the situation sink in, then Baekhyun begins to laugh. He laughs from his gut, loud and boisterous, doubling over at its intensity, before it turns chillingly dark and soon deep sobs are pulling at his body. 

Kyungsoo watches it all in barely contained horror, then registers what's happening and sinks to his knees, pulling the pink haired man into his arms. Kyungsoo holds Baekhyun close and lets him fall apart, silently promising to hold him together till Baekhyun can do it himself.

Eventually Baekhyun cries himself out and Kyungsoo pulls the man into the bathroom, giving him a much needed bath. Baekhyun talks every once in a while, he speaks of his doubt, his worries. Kyungsoo realizes just how sensitive Baekhyun is and always has been. The confidence his author holds isn't something that comes to him naturally, it's something he has to work at and inspire in himself everyday. 

With this understanding, Kyungsoo feels the first slip, the first moment of something he never expected to feel for Baekhyun. He knows this feeling... this connection he recognizes oh so easily, because Kyungsoo has felt this heart stuttering, gut clenching emotion before. Every time the editor used to open an email or a text, from his author, he used to feel this. Kyungsoo failed to recognize these moments he felt this for Baekhyun before, but here it is, slapping him across the face as blatant as it can be. How could he have missed this?

More than anything, though. Kyungsoo knows what Baekhyun's feeling, identifies to it. Kyungsoo understands what it feels like to be that kid pushing yourself trough each day. Kyungsoo understands what it feels like to be so emotionally exhausted because you feel so alone and empty, but you continue to fight to be the best version of yourself every day. Giving up on himself was never an option for Kyungsoo, and as he scratches shampoo through Baekhyun's hair, he knows the young author shares this sentiment.

"What was high school like for you, Baek?" Kyungsoo asks quietly, watching amusedly as Baekhyun tilts his head in the direction of Kyungsoo's hands like a puppy.

Baekhyun peeps an eye open and glances up at Kyungsoo "don't you know better than to ask a writer that question"

Kyungsoo smiles a bit at that and scratches deeper at Baekhyun's scalp, receiving a light moan from the man. "Just tell me a bit about it"

Baekhyun sighs and brings his knees up to his chest, then reaches out and scoops up a handful of bath bubbles. "It was... lonely. I wasn't really bullied, I mean some people said some things, whispered shit behind my back, but I was always able to ignore them and not let it get to me. I was just kind of left to my own devices. I didn't really have many friends, and I just kind of coasted... I was numb to everything, I guess you could say" 

Kyungsoo's heart clenches and he drops his hands, bracing them against the tub "that sounds like it was hard"

Baekhyun shrugs and lays his head on his knees, staring right into Kyungsoo's eyes, leaving himself bare and wide open in every way to the editor.

"It wasn't really anything. I lived my life, did my routine, and just existed. I was living, but barely. I didn't feel enough to be miserable or sad about it" Baekhyun explains.

Kyungsoo grabs the cup on the side of the tub and dips it in the water "when did things change?"

Baekhyun narrows his eyes in thought "I don't exactly remember the day I decided to do better, or to be better, but suddenly I just decided to care. I started watching anime, and dramas, then I got into pop music, and started talking to people like me who loved the things I loved. I found friends and people who just got me. I started putting pride into how I looked and eventually started to like what I saw in the mirror. For the first time in my life I felt happy and that changed everything."

Kyungsoo feels a waver of emotion fill him and he has to blink rapidly "when did you start writing?"

Baekhyun snorts and smiles at this "I actually started out writing fan fiction. People loved my stuff and I actually had a nice little fan base. I loved doing it and seeing the reactions and positive feedback I received. I eventually tweaked one of my stories and sent it in to a publisher. Well the rest you know"

Memories of when Baekhyun first made an appearance in their publishing company fill Kyungsoo's head causing him to smile nostalgically. Kyungsoo was just fresh out of college and was working at Wolf as a junior editor, when he was handed a manuscript to read and make notes on for his boss. Kyungsoo had fallen in love at first read. It was rough, but he loved Baekhyun's words from the very beginning. They had a rawness to them, a level of truth that spoke to Kyungsoo in a way even he couldn't understand. 

The young editor had pushed Baekhyun's book so much that eventually Junmyeon gave in and decided to publish it. Junmyeon had been so uncertain about publishing someone under a pen name, and was intensely annoyed that Baekhyun refused to contact anyone unless it was through none verbal contact, that he passed the author off to Kyungsoo. He had stated that since Kyungsoo had pushed the book so hard, Byun B.H. was his problem. Kyungsoo accepted without a second thought, needing B.H. to succeed for some unknown reason deep inside of him and never looked back.

"Why did you hide behind a pen name, Baek?" Kyungsoo asks, lifting the cup out of the water and carefully rinsing it through Baekhyun's hair.

Baekhyun waits for the water to run through, before answering "I'm... I'm not exactly normal, Kyungsoo. Despite how much confidence I've gained in who I am and what I've become, I still feel like that kid who was rejected so many times when he was younger, is always waiting on the fringes to pull me back into the abyss of nothingness. I'm happy with myself, but I'm afraid others won't be and I'm tired of seeing people leave me."

"Who's left you?" Kyungsoo questions, feeling almost offended that anyone could ever leave his Baekhyun.

"Friends who just got bored with me, or found me too weird to hang out with anymore. Family who pulled away because I'm always in my head and have a habit of talking to myself. Lovers who I cared more for than they ever did for me. People always leave me." Baekhyun explains in such a casual tone that it breaks Kyungsoo's heart.

"I won't leave you. Never again, Baek. I promise." Kyungsoo says, reaching out to card his fingers through Baekhyun's now clean locks.

"You'll break that promise eventually. Everyone does" Baekhyun smiles sadly and Kyungsoo wishes he knew what to say in this moment to convince him otherwise.

Kyungsoo sighs and finishes washing the author, his head deep in thought on how he can prove to Baekhyun that he's not going anywhere.

Kyungsoo helps the boy out of the tub and dresses him in an oversized sweater, before helping him to bed. He tucks Baekhyun in and sits down next to him, with his back to the headboard, and Baekhyun's head tucked onto his lap.

Baekhyun rambles sleepily. Sometimes he says intelligent things about how he feels, about how everything he's been writing lately is shit and he doesn't know how to fix that. Sometimes he spews out random facts, (like: when a rabbit gets happy and jumps around for joy, it's called a binky.) that Kyungsoo didn't know and wonders why Baekhyun does. Eventually though, Baekhyun's words slow, his breathing evens out, then silence fills the large bedroom, and Kyungsoo takes a deep, content breath. 

Kyungsoo lets the boy slumber for a few more minutes in his lap, running his fingers through Baek's fluffy damp hair, before he lays him down on the bed and gets to work. Kyungsoo salvages everything he can. Some posters can be saved, but some couldn't even be put back together with all the tape in the world. A lot of figurines get thrown away, along with many stuffed animals, but he is able to put back together what he can and after some serious ass busting, Baekhyun's apartment seems to rebuild itself. Kyungsoo makes a list of every destroyed item he can identify and decides to get online tomorrow to see what can be replaced and what can not.

By the time Kyungsoo has taken out the last bag of trash (full of ramen containers and cans of coffee... Kyungsoo really needs to break Baekhyun of those habits) and puts the last load of dishes in the washer, he hears the sounds of tiny footfalls in the hallway.

Kyungsoo smiles as he feels small arms wrap around his waist and a chin settle on his shoudler. 

"How long have you been dying to clean my apartment?" Baekhyun mumbles, his lips brushing over Kyungsoo's shoulder. 

His hot breath seeps in through the thin fabric of Kyungsoo's shirt. Pushing away a pleasant shiver, Kyungsoo turns on Baekhyun's dishwasher and leans back into the boy.

"You have no idea." Kyungsoo answers.

Baekhyun snorts and pulls away to Kyungsoo's disappointment. He moves into the living room and plops down on the couch, looking around the room like it's completely foreign to him.

"You saved more than I though could be salvaged. Impressive" Baekhyun comments offhandedly "I'm hungry. Let's order in"

Kyungsoo stares at Baekhyun and sighs, still feeling that something is a little off. Baekhyun isn't back to his normal self, and Kyungsoo doesn't know what he's missing, what he's hiding.

"Baek... why did you do this? Why did you destroy all of your things?" Kyungsoo asks cautiously.

Baekhyun stills, his lips parting in surprise at how abruptly bold his editors question is. "Because I wanted to"

"Why, Baek?" Kyungsoo pushes.

A frustrated sigh pushes out of Baekhyun's lips and he runs a hand through his fluffy hair "You can't even give me an hour to wake up and eat something before we dive back into my special brand of crazy?"

"Baek" Kyungsoo says sternly.

Baekhyun groans and picks up stuffed bear, that is currently missing an arm and buries his face in it, groaning loudly. He pulls his face away from the stuffed animal and holds it for a second before throwing it across the room.

Baekhyun sits back and huffs out a frustrated breath. "Because I was angry. I was mad that I drove you away. I was too weird for the guy whose been by my side for years, someone who was always there for me until he met the real me. I hated myself for that, I hated myself for everything I was and everything I couldn't be for you. Every time I looked around my apartment I didn't see me, I saw everything you hated, everything everyone else would hate if they actually got to know me, and I couldn't stand it." Baekhyun glances up and Kyungsoo heart cracks a little at the vulnerability in his friend's eyes "I wanted to destroy everything that made me weird, that made me different, that..."

"Made you, you" Kyungsoo jumps in cutting Baekhyun off  "everything that makes you my Baekhyun"

Baekhyun's eyes widen at the word choice and Kyungsoo moves into the living room, sitting down on the edge of the coffee table, right in front of the puppy.

"Byun Baekhyun, you listen to me and you listen to me good. You are perfect, just the way you are. Don't you dare try to change yourself or doubt who you are just because some asshole couldn't handle that amazingly quirky person. You're perfect, and I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that. Everything you love is everything you are and the person you are is someone I've really missed the shit out of over the past month. I'm sorry, Baek. I'm so exceedingly sorry that I don't even know how to express it to you."

Baekhyun stares into Kyungsoo's eyes, seeming to be fighting with himself. Kyungsoo knows that Baekhyun is deciding on whether or not to trust him again, to allow Kyungsoo past his defenses. Kyungsoo wouldn't blame the author if he never trusts him again.

"I watch so much anime that I speak in references. I know the Sailor Moon opening theme by heart. I have two hoodies in my closet that have pockets full of glitter just in case I need them. I'm in love with Kim Woobin and anyone else will always come in second. Every other sentence out of my mouth is a dick joke. My favorite girl group is Girls Generation, and I will be best friends with Taeyeon one day... Kyungsoo, how can you call any of that perfect?" Baekhyun asks, staring at Kyungsoo as if the editor has lost his mind.

Kyungsoo smiles and nods his head "because you're perfect to me. That stuff used to annoy me, but now I just see it as a part of you. I want you to be you, not who you think everyone else wants you to be. The world is too boring and normal already. I need a glitter pocketed, pink haired, anime fluent Baekhyun in my life. My days sucked way too much without you in them, and I didn't know how much you had changed my world and views until you weren't there anymore."

"You need me?" Baekhyun asks, his voice thick and small.

A fond burst of emotion fills Kyungsoo's chest and he leans forward "more than I ever knew. I need you Baekhyun, not B, just you"

Baekhyun shoots forward and crushes Kyungsoo in all consuming hug. Kyungsoo startles and has to rush to hold both him and the pink haired fairy up, but eventually chuckles and returns the hug. This is the first real hug they've ever had and Kyungsoo takes a moment to relish in how good it feels, how warm and squishy Baekhyun feels in his arms, how right their bodies feel connected.

"You better mean it, Soo. No take backs this time. We're official now and you're stuck with me." Baekhyun says pulling away, which leaves the other wishing he could pull him back. 

Kyungsoo can tell that there's still some hesitance in his voice and eyes. Even though he's forgiven him, Kyungsoo still has a lot of proving himself to do and Kyungsoo is more than willing to work for Baekhyun's trust. The editor will do anything to keep Byun Baekhyun in his life.

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, and decides to tease a bit himself  "there are worse things to be stuck with"

"Like an STD?" Baekhyun asks, then gasps and holds his hand to his mouth in overdramatic horror "don't tell me... Soo, do you?"

Kyungsoo's eye does that twitching thing that oddly only developed after he met Baekhyun and he launches at Baek on the couch, while grabbing a pillow and proceeds to hit the author with it. Baekhyun laughs so hard he nearly pees himself while Kyungsoo just shakes his head at the impossible man. 

Kyungsoo may have come to terms that he loves and can't live without Baekhyun in his life, but that doesn't mean that the pink haired freak isn't still a pain in his ass. No one knows how to push his buttons quiet like Baekhyun and in some odd way, there's something really special about that.

>>>>

Kyungsoo awakes to an empty bed. White light of the early morning sunrise fills the room, and Kyungsoo vaguely wonders why he's up so early on a Saturday. He groans, and rolls over, feeling for the warmth he fell asleep next to, but noting but cold sheets run under his palm.

Peeking an eye open, Kyungsoo releases a frustrated huff when he doesn't see his pink haired puppy tucked in next to him. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo had stayed up all night, talking through a great deal of Baekhyun's insecurities and concerns. By the time Baekhyun started acting and talking more like himself, they were both so tired they could barely keep their eyes open.

Baekhyun had wordlessly pulled Kyungsoo to his room, and tucked them both into bed. Kyungsoo hadn't even tried to fight it, too tired to think better of it, and he isn't even sure he wanted to.

Rolling over, Kyungsoo finds his phone and checks the time, before cursing out loud. Baekhyun couldn't have gotten more than a couple hours of sleep, and wonders where he could have gone.

Navigating through Baekhyun's apartment half asleep is easier than Kyungsoo thought it would be; and he guesses spending multiple months here more than his own apartment is responsible for that.

Kyungsoo finds the small author at his computer, clicking away at his keyboard, with his headphones in. Baekhyun doesn't notice his presence, so Kyungsoo takes a minute to lean against the wall and just watch him. After everything Baekhyun's called him over here for, Kyungsoo realizes that he has never once seen his author write before.

Writers tend to be private creatures, and they tend to hide a lot of their process to outsiders. Kyungsoo has seen more than most, but he's never had the opportunity to see Baekhyun in his element. He has to admit that it's quite fascinating. Kyungsoo notices that Baekhyun has a habit of talking to himself, as well as making a whole range of facial expressions, to match the story rolling in his head, he guesses.

When Baekhyun finally notices Kyungsoo, the editor was so into staring, that he can't even fake to hide what he's doing.

Baekhyun smirks and leans back in his chair and pulls out his headphones "what? Am I that sexy when I work?"

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and scoffs quietly "more like intriguing. You probably should be studied"

Baekhyun grins and leans forward on his elbows, cocking an eyebrow "I'll let you study me anytime, Soo"

Kyungsoo is about to retort when he gets an abrupt text and checks his phone. His eyes widen and his heart jumps a bit when he sees who it's from. Kyungsoo hasn't spoken to his best friend much over the past couple of weeks. Jongin seems to have taken to ignoring him after he found out what happened with Baekhyun. Kyungsoo wanted to apologize to the young doctor, but once again his pride kept him from picking up the phone.

From: Jonginnie

You up? Breakfast? Usual place?

Kyungsoo's heart clenches at the prospect of seeing his best friend for their usual early breakfasts. Despite the incomplete sentences and grammar mistakes, Kyungsoo finds himself thinking fondly of Jongin's effort to reach out.

Kyungsoo glances back up to find the curious eyes of his writer staring at him. He grasps for something, anything to explain, then decides with the truth. There's no point in hiding anything from Baekhyun now. (Kyungsoo's going to miss being the "suffer in silence" type.)

"My best friend, Jongin just texted me. I haven't spoken to him much lately. He's cross with me about how I've been treating you, and now I can see he was right. Jongin is kind of a huge fan of yours and always seems to be on your side" Kyungsoo admits.

Baekhyun nods, taking in the information "I like the idea of having someone on my side against SatanSoo. So what did he say?"

Kyungsoo wants to take offense to that, but can't really come up with reason to, "he wants to have breakfast at our usual place"

Baekhyun places his chin on his folded hands and cocks his head "you guys are close, aren't you?"

Kyungsoo nods "he's one of the only true friends I've ever had. He's been there for me for years and I've been kind of lost without both of you"

A small smile pulls at Baekhyun's lips and he nods "do you... love Jongin?"

"Of course I do" Kyungsoo answers, before he gets a feeling that Baekhyun doesn't mean it in the way that he thinks "wait... are you talking about romantically?"

Baekhyun regards Kyungsoo with a contained emotionless expression, and the editor instantly feels confused as to why the author is so guarded in this moment.

"Yes. Are you in love with Jongin? Are you two romantically involved?" Baekhyun asks simply, his voice easy and calm... B.

"Of course not. I love Jongin, but he's like my younger brother. I never had room to consider him as anything else" Kyungsoo answers.

Baekhyun relaxes and nods thoughtfully "what do you mean room? Is there someone else in your heart?" he teases, but it still sounds a bit tense.

Kyungsoo feels heat take over his cheeks and glances away quickly "m-maybe... I see b-books as my lovers, so there's no room for anyone else"

Baekhyun smirks and rolls his eyes, focusing his attention back on his computer "sure. Go out to breakfast with your bestie. I'll be here."

Kyungsoo releases a relived breath as the focus is taken off him, and begins to collect his things. He's a little hesitant to leave the bean alone, but he trusts Baekhyun, and needs to show the pink haired pixie this.

"I'll have my phone on me if you need me" Kyungsoo says as he's putting on his shoes.

Baekhyun waves his hand dismissively and Kyungsoo swears he can hear the boy's eyes roll. With a sigh, Kyungsoo leaves and decidedly puts his faith in the gods to take care of his pink haired bean.

.....

"I didn't think you'd show" Jongin says as Kyungsoo sits across from him.

Kyungsoo makes a sheepish expression "I thought about not coming, but then I decided to stuff my pride. You deserve an apology in person"

Jongin smirks slightly and brings his mug up for a sip before teasing "look who put their big boy panties on today"

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, then softens his eyes "I'm sorry, Jongin. I acted like a dick and I should have listened to you"

Jongin's eyebrows shoot to his hairline and his lips part in uncontained surprise "that's startlingly humble of you"

A frustrated huff can't be helped at that "even gods can have moments of humility"

"There's my Soo" Jongin comments and sits back, crossing his legs.

Kyungsoo takes a good look at his best friend and notices deep, dark circles under his eyes and he knows that this tiff has effected the surgeon more that he will admit. 

Jongin has a bad habit of taking on extra shifts when things get messy in his private life. Kyungsoo knows that Jongin even sleeps at the hospital when he works multiple shifts over a limited amount of time. From the look of Jongin's wrinkly, skewed baby blue scrubs, he knows this time isn't an exception.

"You need sleep" Kyungsoo comments as the waitress leaves after taking his order.

"And you need to tell me what happened with Baekhyun" Jongin retorts, biting into his blueberry muffin.

Kyungsoo sighs dramatically expecting this. Jongin is too good at seeing right through him. He knew he wouldn't be able to hide the latest developments from his best friend. So, Kyungsoo dives into it. He tells him everything, unloading from his declining moment of telling Baekhyun off, to spending the day before cleaning up the damage to Baekhyun's apartment and heart. By the time he finishes his tale, he feels the full weight of the exhaustion of the past couple of days, press on him.

Jongin's lips twitch into a slight cocky smirk and takes another sip of his drink "so did you guys fuck last night, then?"

Kyungsoo nearly chokes on his coffee, and glares at the younger as he hands him a napkin. "Of course not. There are boundaries that you don't cross, Jongin. We're..." Kyungsoo briefly thinks back to the kiss and feel confusion swirl in his head. He doesn't know what Baekhyun and he are. "We're friends" Kyungsoo goes with, at least knowing this to be true.

Jongin rolls his eyes and groans dramatically "you two really are made for each other. You're both idiots. Baekhyun is a complete failure at life, and you're completely oblivious to it"

Kyungsoo scoffs and is about to reply with a bitchy comeback, but then something clicks that didn't earlier.

"You... you called him Baekhyun" Kyungsoo stares at Jongin with startled disbelief "you called him by his name... Jongin's, how-how do you know Baekhyun's name?"

It's Jongin's turn to look sheepish, and ducks his head poorly attempting to hide from the editor.

"Well you see... I just"

"Jongin" Kyungsoo warns, needing the man to spill, and now.

"Do you remember the night you got shitfaced and wrote that letter to B?" Jongin asks quickly and receives an unsure nod from the older. "Ok, well, when you got up to go to the bathroom, you left your phone at the table..."

At Jongin's trail off, Kyungsoo's heart leaps into his throat "no, no... Jongin, please. Please tell me you didn't"

Jongin winces and avoids eye contact "I sent him the email, and my number. Then erased it so you wouldn't know. Baekhyun messaged me the next day and we've been in contact ever since. We've even talked over the phone."

Kyungsoo stares deadpan at Jongin. He doesn't blink, doesn't move, just stares. Jongin sent his letter, his email proclaiming his love for the author, to the very man he's in love with. Baekhyun knows how he felt... how he feels. Baekhyun knows everything, has known everything and Kyungsoo feels like a fool.

"But..." Kyungsoo attempts, but fails feeling too shell shocked to think straight.

"We devised a plan. Baekhyun didn't accidentally forget to tell you that he was going off the grid. I knew how you'd react and after I figured out that you knew his address, I guessed that you'd react irrationally. You did exactly as we expected and everything was perfect, but unfortunately I didn't calculate the fact that you're Kyungsoo into our plans. Every time you pushed him away, I told him to bump it up to the next level... but I guess we went a little too far. You snapped and well... you know the rest. That was my fault. I just thought you'd fucking give in at some point, I mean the boy watched porn with you for crying out loud"

Kyungsoo swallows thickly and continues to stare at Jongin. So many things are going through his head right now, so many things to process. Jongin and Baekhyun are friends, cohorts. They've been plotting things, making plans. All of the ridiculous, crazy things Baekhyun did was planned? Baekhyun found out about his feelings and wanted to what? Seduce him? 

"What was your aim? What did you guys want from me? What was the purpose of Baekhyun doing all of those outlandish, vulgar things?" Kyungsoo asks the first questions he can come up with.

"We... we didn't want anything from you, Soo. Baekhyun explained that a way into a man's heart, is through his pants" Jongin defends, seeming to finally realize how stupid that sounds.

Kyungsoo sighs, accepting that this is something Baekhyun would in fact, say. Also Jongin is a brilliant surgeon, but he's a dumbass when it comes to common sense and romance. He can't believe these two have actually been conspiring behind his back to get Baekhyun into his pants.

Suddenly a thought pops into his head and Kyungsoo scoots forward in his chair "wait... Baekhyun knows how I feel... and he..."

"Because he's in love with you too, dumbass" Jongin bites, sounding absolutely done about the situation.

Kyungsoo doesn't even think about his actions, he throws a couple notes on the table, grabs his coat and rushes out the door before he even understands what he's doing. He catches a glance of Jongin's knowing smirk on the way out and reminds himself to hit him for it later. Right now he has a pink haired pain in his ass to deal with.

.....

"You're in love with me?" Kyungsoo demands, bursting in through Baekhyun's front door.

Kyungsoo would have normally been amused at Baekhyun's expression, as he's frozen, wide eyed, mouth full of chips, standing in the doorway to the kitchen, and with a bowl poised in his hand. It's actually really fucking funny at how lost and shocked the man looks, but Kyungsoo is on a mission. He can laugh at the little idiot later.

"What?" Baekhyun squeaks around a mouth full of chips, his expression similar to a child who just got caught in the cookie jar before dinner.

Kyungsoo huffs out a breathy laugh and shakes his head "Jongin told me everything"

Baekhyun chews his chips quickly while nodding and produces an intelligent "oh" when he's finished. Baekhyun sets the chip bowl aside and awkwardly wipes his hands off on his pants "Why are you acting surprised? I kind of figured it was obvious with how I acted and all of the things I did"

Kyungsoo shakes his head "I didn't even think that you were trying to do anything with all of that shit... I just thought that it was how you were."

"Seriously? Kyungsoo, I took you to a sex shop and put on a collar..." Baekhyun trails off.

Kyungsoo sighs and just shrugs, throwing his hands up, saying everything he can't verbalize.

"Oh my god." The boy wails, dramatically. "I thought you were just taking things slow, and now I find out you just thought I was fucking weird" Baekhyun exclaims, throwing his hands up, matching Kyungsoo's bewilderment.

"You are fucking weird"

"Not that fucking weird!"

Kyungsoo shrugs and runs a hand through his hair in exasperation "how was I supposed to know? You were like that from the first moment I met you. My first face to face impression was of you in a towel, Baek"

"You think that would have given you some indication" Baekhyun half shouts "who the fuck lets their towel drop to their ankles and just walks away letting someone they just met, get full view of their ass?"

"You do!" Kyungsoo yells back.

They stare at each other for a minute, before they dissipate into a fit of laughter. They both end up doubled over and wheezing before it dies off and the full weight of everything sinks in.

"So... you like me back?" Kyungsoo asks, leaning against the back of Baekhyun's couch.

Baekhyun smiles fondly, rolling his eyes, and moves forward standing right in front of the editor "I love you, stupid. Do you still love me? Like me, Baekhyun, not B?"

Kyungsoo's lips twitch into a smirk and he cocks his head to the side "I don't know... I mean I will always come in second to Kim Woobin after all. That's a hard level to try to live up to"

Baekhyun's eyes soften and he reaches out, brushing a strand of hair away from Kyungsoo's eyes "oh, Soo... you'll never live up to his level"

Kyungsoo's jaw locks and he abruptly reaches around and grabs Baekhyun by the waist, pulling the other against him and toppling them both over the back of the couch. They land on the soft cushions with a poof and Kyungsoo braces his hand on the arm of the couch, propping himself above the small puppy.

Their eyes lock and the realization of body contact is all too apparent. Kyungsoo leans in and boldly places his lips against the others, kissing the boy sweetly. When he pulls back, Baekhyun's eyes are wide and sparkly. Kyungsoo wishes he could capture a picture of how stunning and bright his writer's eyes are right now.

"Baekhyun... I love you" Kyungsoo says as easy as breathing.

Baekhyun's eyes burst with light and they glass over with unshed tears, while his lips pull into the widest grin he's ever seen on the man "I love you too, Soo"

Kyungsoo leans in and kisses the man, this time with more heat. The taste of Baekhyun is addicting, like the sweetest candy he's ever had, mixed with a homey feeling. It's comfortable, and consuming. 

The kiss quickly becomes heated, though. Moments, memories, feelings overtaking them all at once. Sexual chemistry that Kyungsoo hadn't been aware existed between them, lights a fire in his bones. Every time Kyungsoo had a pulse of attraction, a pulse of arousal for Baekhyun rises to the surface. Kyungsoo had pushed all of it away, hiding it under annoyance and exasperation, but now he's recognizing just how deeply he wants this kid, how deeply he's craved Baekhyun in so many ways.

Kyungsoo presses his body against the man under him and relishes in the slight moany gasp he receives. Kyungsoo attacks the boy's lips, finally releasing all of that sexual frustration he didn't know had built up inside of him. Baekhyun is his to claim and that's exactly what he plans to do.

All too quickly though, he's stopped in his assault. Baekhyun places a hand on Kyungsoo's chest and pushes the editor back a bit, sucking in air he wishes he didn't need.

"We need to stop. I know I say it jokingly a great deal, but seriously, I'm getting hard." Baekhyun says, laying his head down and panting.

Kyungsoo smirks and leans down, placing a small kiss at the corner of Baekhyun's mouth, slowly trailing down the boy's jaw. Baekhyun's breathing harshens and he starts to squirm, especially when Kyungsoo reaches his neck and begins to suck a mark right under his left ear.

Baekhyun whines and grabs a piece of Kyungsoo shirt in his fist "Kyungsoo" he pleads, but the editor refuses to show Baekhyun any type of mercy today. He'll show the boy exactly who comes in first.

Kyungsoo bites at the mark he's proudly made and his smirk returns when Baekhyun makes a frustrated groaning sound. The author grabs Kyungsoo by his collar and hauls him back to connect their lips in a hungry kiss. Baekhyun fights for dominance, moving his lips with fervor, but only for a few seconds before he gives into Kyungsoo's demanding lips. Once Baekhyun submits, the editor slips his tongue into the pink haired boy's mouth, tasting Baekhyun for everything he is.

It's delicious, and Kyungsoo feels ravenous. Baekhyun whimpers, wrapping his arms around Kyungsoo's waist and embedding his fingers into the others shirt, desperately clutching at it. Kyungsoo grabs Baekhyun's jaw with his right hand and bites at the boy's lip, emanating a low growl from deep in his throat.

Kyungsoo watches Baekhyun's eyes dilate, when he pulls back and breaths harshly, attempting to catching his breath.

"Fuck" Baekhyun curses breathily "I fucking knew it. Oh gods, I'm so turned on right now"

Baekhyun grabs Kyungsoo's hand that's loosely holding onto his jaw, and brings it down. Baekhyun presses the other's hand against the small, hard mound in his pants and relishes in the sharp intake of breath he receives in response.

"Baekhyun, isn't this a little... fast?" Kyungsoo asks, putting on his best professional voice he can manage.

It works, Baekhyun's eyes bulge and he looks almost distraught "absolutely not. You did this to me, now fix it. You are not getting out of this. Please, Soo. I need you to touch me, I've been waiting for so long to feel your hands on me, too feel your cock inside of me, working me open." 

How dare Baekhyun say such filthy, obscene, and arousing things to his editor. The pink haired little shit even has the audacity to say these things, while rhythmically moving his hips and pushing his hardness up into the others hand. Kyungsoo swallows thickly, having intended to do just those things, but he couldn't miss out on teasing him just a little. Now, though... he needs to fuck Baekhyun so hard he only remembers how to scream Kyungsoo's name.

"Lube" Kyungsoo demands.

Baekhyun gasps and looks like he might cry from happiness. The bean reaches under the cushion beneath his head and produces a small bottle of the substance he asked for. Kyungsoo cocks an eyebrow and Baekhyun gives him a shrug.

"Always have to be prepared" Baekhyun says in explanation.

Kyungsoo sighs and shakes his head, seriously debating his life choices, and leans down, kissing the pixie once again. The editor bombards Baekhyun with senses: feeling, sent, sound... all of his being, overwhelmed by everything Kyungsoo and it almost makes him dizzy.

Kyungsoo leans up and sits back on his heels, proudly staring down at the already debouched writer. So malleable underneath him, panting, and trembling with unbridled need. It's so satisfying to see Baekhyun like this.

"Soo, please touch me" Baekhyun whines and lifts his hips up, grinding once again into Kyungsoo's palm, while keeping eye contact.

"Baekhyun" Kyungsoo warns "you're making it intensely hard to make our first time slow and romantic. Do not make me fuck you into this couch"

Baekhyun gasps, his hips stuttering as Kyungsoo's words send a jolt of desperate arousal straight to his already achingly hard dick. Baekhyun releases a pitiful sounding whine and places a hand over Kyungsoo, adding more pressure to his hardness.

Kyungsoo groans at this impossible man, and feels his self control snap. Fuck making the first time special. All of the sexual tension that has built up between them for months, that Kyungsoo didn't even recognize as such until now, is too much for slow and sweet.

"Baekhyun" Kyungsoo says firmly, gaining the boy's attention. Wide eyes meet Kyungsoo's steadily and focuses completely on the older "we have plenty of time for me to make love to you. I want... need to fuck you. I'm going to imprint your moans into the fabric of this couch. Do you understand?"

Baekhyun's lips part and his eyes close tightly as he nods vigorously. The boy abruptly lifts his hips up and Kyungsoo gets the point, yanking Baekhyun's pants and underwear down to his knees in one go. Kyungsoo maneuvers himself so he's sitting on Baekhyun's thighs, straddling the boy; who sighs in content, right before calling out as Kyungsoo finally, finally after waiting so long, touches him. It's like eating chocolate in a bathtub full of bubbles, while being serenaded by G.Soul. It's so delicious, that Baekhyun never wants it to end, but wants more all at the same time.

Kyungsoo only strokes Baekhyun with a couple of fast and short movements, until he knows Baekhyun's exactly where he wants him. Kyungsoo sits up on his knees, and grabs on to Baekhyun's hips. The pink haired boy stares at Kyungsoo, wondering what he's doing, before in one fluid movement, he's flipped onto his stomach. Baekhyun gasps out, both in shock and arousal, then moans as Kyungsoo hooks his arm under his hips and lifts his ass into the air. The smaller scrambles to support himself on his knees, panting at how uncontrollably turned on he is.

Baekhyun had made the educated guess that Kyungsoo is the dominant type. Always so controlled, so commanding. Baekhyun had gotten off on Kyungsoo's assertive personality since the beginning and he always imagined the type of despotic aura the editor could bring to the bedroom. Gods, Baekhyun is so glad he was right. Kyungsoo's everything and more than what he could have imagined.

Baekhyun takes in a shaky breath and latches his hands into the couch cushion his upper half rests on and waits for what Kyungsoo does to him next. However, he could never have prepared himself for the overwhelming pleasurable throb that surges through him as Kyungsoo's hand stings across his ass. The loud smack echoes off the walls, and mixes with the equally pitched moan he releases. Don't get him wrong, Baekhyun's been spanked before, but it's never felt like this.

Baekhyun nearly cums as Kyungsoo delivers another ball-tightening whack to his ass, but he manages to push it down. Baekhyun refuses to cum until Kyungsoo's inside of him.

The abrupt feeling of something poking at his ass, forces Baekhyun to jolt forward. Baekhyun earns another smack for this and an unexpected pinching sensation. The smaller glances back to see Kyungsoo kneeling behind him, working his finger into his ass, with his teeth sunk into his fleshy globe. Baekhyun has to scramble to make a ring around the base of his cock to keep himself from coming at the sight.

Baekhyun whines loudly and looks away, burying his face into the cushion. He wished for this, he spent so much time praying to the gods for this, and now that's he's got it, he's losing his fucking mind. Kyungsoo's everything he ever wanted and he's delirious with happiness and arousal.

Kyungsoo prepares him slowly, he may want to ruin the pink haired freak, but he doesn't want to hurt him. There's a very thin line between pleasure and pain, and Kyungsoo has spent years perfecting how to balance that line. Kyungsoo's always known he was different in this sense and never really found his proper partner, even having experimented within a couple of underground groups for people like him. Kyungsoo never found his match, though, but he thinks he might have had his hearts desire in his clutches all along.

Baekhyun's squirming and moaning shamelessly by the time Kyungsoo has the boy open and ready for him. Each little curl of his fingers, each little rough, teasing thrust, just proves to torture Baekhyun. He needs Kyungsoo like he's never needed anything before, and he's a KPop fan, so Baekhyun understands desperation.

Baekhyun feels movement behind him, then something thick and full touches his rim. Baekhyun curses himself for not getting to fully admire Kyungsoo in his stripped glory, or getting a chance to wrap his lips around the clearly gorgeous cock currently positioned against his entrance. He knows they have time though. Kyungsoo's not going anywhere right now, possibly ever, if he can help it.

Every ouch of air in Baekhyun's lungs vacates in one breath as Kyungsoo slides inside of him. The first couple of inches, slip in slowly, filling him so completely. Then, all at once, Kyungsoo slams all the way inside of him, his hips flush against Baekhyun's ass. 

Baekhyun calls out and clenches his thighs, nearly ruining it by cumming all over himself with one thrust. Kyungsoo pulls back out and begins an assaulting pace, doing as he promised by fucking Baekhyun's imprint into the couch.

The loud, high pitched moan Baekhyun releases, only spurs Kyungsoo on. Kyungsoo adjusts Baekhyun, bringing his hips back, opening him up and allowing Kyungsoo to go exceedingly deeper. Baekhyun's jaw drops at the new angle, and he's sure that he might be drooling.

With every thrust, Baekhyun seems to get louder. His moans and high pitched wails, mixing with Kyungsoo's rough breathing and pleasures groans. Baekhyun wants to grab his phone so he can record this for inspiration on his next smut scene, but knows he wouldn't be able to move, even if he tried. Kyungsoo has him holding on for dear life as the man wrecks ever inch of his being, and he's intoxicated on every second.

"Baekhyun" Kyungsoo rumbles into his ear, his voice honey tick and just as sweet "are you going to cum for me"

Baekhyun can't think straight, let along speak in full sentences. He's been ready to cum the second his editor started touching him. It would take the littlest nudge to push Baekhyun over the edge, and it comes (pun intended) in the form of Kyungsoo biting at his ear, then saying in the deepest, sexiest voice he's ever heard "cum for me, baby"

The intensity of Baekhyun's orgasm hits him like a fright train at top speed. Baekhyun screams, before his voice gives out and all he can do is jolt quietly as wave after wave of earth shattering pleasure ripples through him. It's the most potent orgasm he's ever had, and it feels like it won't end, especially as Kyungsoo pistons into him chasing his own.

Baekhyun finds his voice once again after some of the severity levels off and moans out Kyungsoo's name. The man leans over him and wraps his arms around Baekhyun's waist, ramming into the ever sensitive boy with short but powerful strokes.

"Kyungsoo" Baekhyun moans "fill me up, please. I want to feel all of you inside me"

Kyungsoo curses and releases the younger, firmly placing his hands on Baekhyun's hips, holding them in a bruising grip, before driving himself inside the boy like a jackhammer. Baekhyun's jaw drops and he nearly sobs from the sensation. 

Kyungsoo says the others name like its a curse before he wraps his arms around Baekhyun's chest and falls forward, spilling his load inside the boy. They collapse onto the couch, Kyungsoo still thrusting into Baekhyun with short, jerking strokes, riding out his orgasm.

They stay like that for a few minutes, breathing heavy and pausing in the glow of their celestial climaxes. Baekhyun allows himself to bask in this moment. The feeling of Kyungsoo's full weight on top of him. The feeling of Kyungsoo still inside of him, throbbing. The feeling of warmth and safety of having his lover with him in the closest way possible. It's so perfect, it scares the hell out of him.

"This is the part when you leave." Baekhyun says, casually "you can walk out the door and I won't hate you for it. This is your one pass. I'll let you go and everything will go back to the way it was before any of this."

The tone that comes out of Kyungsoo's words are casual, but the way his arms tighten around his chest, is anything but "do you think I'd go anywhere when my dick is so warm inside your ass?"

"I'm serious, Soo" Baekhyun says, his voice damn near pleading.

"Baek" Kyungsoo says, placing a small kiss on the puppy's shoulder "listen to me. I mean what I said. I'm in love with you. I have been for a while, I was just fighting it because I was stubborn and wanted things a certain way. Now I realize though, that I just want you. I want this" he emphasizes his point by moving his hips and sliding slightly out, before gliding back in, forcing a jerk out of the boy beneath him from the sensitivity "I'm not going anywhere, and I will gladly spend the rest of my life proving that to you"

Kyungsoo holds Baekhyun as the boy trembles, and eventually starts crying. Kyungsoo knows Baekhyun's been through a lot, his heart is scarred and the editor knows it'll take a while for a lot of those scars to fade. But maybe, just maybe the love he'll give Baekhyun will speed up the process a bit, and protect it from receiving any more.

>>>>

The sounds of clicks and light music wakes him. Kyungsoo swallows thickly, his body feeling heavy and muscles feeling way too relaxed. Images of what is causing his deeply unknotted body, flashes through his head. He smiles to himself and rolls over, finding the source of his sudden wake up call.

Baekhyun sits next to him, his back to the headboard, and his laptop balanced on his crossed legs. He has his headphones in, but you can hear slight music emanating from the ear prices. Baekhyun clicks away, his fingers seeming to blur as they move across the keyboard.

Kyungsoo thinks he looks beautiful like this, though he kind of thinks the author looks beautiful in any form. Especially when he was spread out beneath him, moaning his name, multiple time through the progression of the day. He has a feeling that this need for Baekhyun won't die anytime soon, and due to the boy's unnecessarily high sex drive, Kyungsoo doesn't think it'll be a problem for Baekhyun.

It's late now though, and Kyungsoo just wants to sleep. Junmyeon had called him up yesterday to bitch him up and down about leaving the office early the day before and not showing up at all the next. That is until Kyungsoo mentioned that B had gone into crisis mode and needed him. Junmyeon had grilled him with questions about the situation for over an hour, but once he realized that the editor wouldn't give up any information worth something, he grumpily barked for Kyungsoo to return to the office on time, the next morning.

Kyungsoo groans thinking over the impending early morning he'll be subject to in just a couple of hours. He briefly wonders if it would upset the bean to ask him to go work in his office.

When Kyungsoo glances back up, he's momentarily startled to find Baekhyun staring down at him, a fond smile on his face.

"I woke you" Baekhyun comments, reaching over and carding a hand through Kyungsoo's hair.

Kyungsoo hums at the feeling and sighs "I have and early morning, Baek."

Baekhyun parts his lips and smiles apologetically "sorry... I was going to work in the living room, but I just... I didn't want to leave you. I like the feeling of you next to me, I think this is the most writing I've done in weeks"

Kyungsoo reaches out and grabs Baekhyun's hand, feeling another slip. "Well, unless you want to message my boss and inform him that I am absolutely needed here, I kind of need as much sleep I can get."

Abruptly a look crosses Baekhyun's face and he slips his hand out of Kyungsoo's and his beautifully long, and delicate fingers begin flying across the keyboard once more. Kyungsoo would love to spend house watching those fingers, imagining what those fingers could actually do, but curiosity wins out and he peeks back up at Baekhyun's face. Deep lines of concentration and maybe even determination crease across the boy's forehead, and Kyungsoo can't help but stare fondly.

"What are you doing?" Kyungsoo asks after a few minutes of concerning silence.

Baekhyun pauses for a second, seeming to have forgotten Kyungsoo was even next to him "writing an email to our darling leader"

"What?!" Kyungsoo exclaims, his tone mirroring his bewilderment "what are you saying? You've never really talked to anyone outside of me before"

Kyungsoo hadn't realized that his voice had dropped into a pout until Baekhyun slowly turns his head and looks at him with an amused smirk, before turning his attention back to composing his email.  "I'm just informing him that it's easier to work when I have you at my disposal, and that if he wants my next chapter on time, then I need your undivided attention. Which also means that I can't have you leaving me to go to the office."

The editor's jaw drops and he gapes at the ridiculous man next to him. He can't believe Baekhyun and his ways of getting exactly as he wants.

"And send" Baekhyun says, pressing the enter button with extra flamboyance and smiling triumphantly.

Kyungsoo huffs a disbelieving breath "you're unbelievable"

"Unbelievably what? Sexy? Cute? Good in bed? I'm dying of curiosity here, Soo" 

Rolling his eyes, Kyungsoo reaches up and pinches the boy's cheek, before rolling over and pulls the blanket up around him. "Just keep it down, let me get the remain hours of sleep I can"

Baekhyun whines, but doesn't argue. Soon enough though, the sound of a computer closing and the rustling of sheets is heard over his shoulder. Arms slip around his waist as Baekhyun curls himself around Kyungsoo's body, adding a comforting warmth to his backside. They cuddle like that for a few minutes, not even bothering to attempt sleep, just enjoying the presence of the other.

The loud ping of a phone breaks the pleasant silence of the room, but Kyungsoo knows he can't ignore it. That's his work tone. The offensive light of the phone makes both of them hiss in the unpleasant burning of their retinas.

Once his eyes adjust, and Kyungsoo can finally ready the message, he lets out a loud snort in disbelief.

From: Dictator Jun

Don't come into this office until you have a copy of his latest chapter in your possession. And then you can also explain what the fuck is going on between you two. AND I MEAN EVERYTHING!

"Ooh, shouty capitals. You're in trouble" Baekhyun sings in Kyungsoo's ear.

"You did this, you little weirdo. If you would have just left me alone to drag myself into the office like a zombie, this wouldn't be a problem" Kyungsoo groans, closing his phone and throwing it onto the bedside table.

Baekhyun laughs "but then who would fuck me on every inch of my apartment this afternoon?"

Kyungsoo clenches his jaw, and sits up, turning towards and surprised, but equally amused puppy. "You're a monster"

Baekhyun smirks "that's alright, you can call me monster... but we both know you love me"

The editor narrows his eyes "just because I love you doesn't mean I have to like you"

A loud laugh falls from Baekhyun's lips and he raises an eyebrow in challenge "I guess I'll just have to change your mind"

"Baekhyun" Kyungsoo warns, but it's too late. 

Kyungsoo hits the bed with an loud "oomph" and shakes his head, laughing as the man who just tackled him onto the bed, starts peppering his face in kisses. It's a ridiculous act that if Kyungsoo would have seen as an outside party, he would have made a disgusted face and turned away from it. With Baekhyun though, it feels pleasant, and makes his stomach flutter and toes curl. This unnecessarily cheesy act, is now endearing. He wonders when Baekhyun completely changed his outlook on life.

Baekhyun, someone who is completely the polar opposite of B, the man he thought he was in love with. But somehow Kyungsoo thinks that Baekhyun the, loud, opinionated, ridiculous love of his life, was always there. In between every word, were traces of Baekhyun; his humor, his eccentricities, his warmth and kindness. Baekhyun was there all along and Kyungsoo was a fool for not seeing it sooner. To see Baekhyun, the man he holds so desperately close to his heart, all he had to do, was read between the lines.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys can kind of learn something from Baekhyun's story. That no matter what you're going through and what kind of crazy shit you're dealing with, it will always get better. I know at times it feels really hard and maybe even hopeless, but if you push through each day and believe in yourself, you'll be ok. I took a lot of Baek's story from my own life and trust me, the person I used to be is a complete 180 from who I am now and it took a lot of work to get here, it still does. As Soo said, you have to work every day to be the best version of yourself.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Illustrator, The Author, The Artist & The Poet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15937115) by [acrazyworldofdreams](https://archiveofourown.org/users/acrazyworldofdreams/pseuds/acrazyworldofdreams)




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